Pay As You Go by Eskor David Johnson

Author:Eskor David Johnson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: McSweeney's Publishing

TWO HELICOPTERS

The next day was more of the same, the cul-de-sac serving as a site of brisk commerce, me cutting hair from sunup to sundown. Stretching into the overcast morning, I ate my can of tuna while taking in the view of Polis, still stagnant in its long rest. I had slept in a tent, as promised, next to the one named Paramount, who might have been the largest of them all. He was a humorless meathead, Irish-built, with arms like legs, who explained before dozing off that he would be farting all night to keep the tent warm. It was pretty awful and I don’t want to get into it. Me I didn’t complain, though. I was just glad to have a roof over my head and a battery at my side that I hugged like a doll. What a battery. There didn’t seem to be an end to its charge, and I even forgot to worry about it throughout the day. Whatever secret my barbershop might have been before, it was now fully known about, and from Section A to E people were coming. While waiting they traded anecdotes from their drowned lives or various atrocities committed by the soldiers. Again, during lunch, I brought up with Peter Napakakos the issue of a fair split of the cash and he gave me one hell of a deal. I would get half of what the people paid, the remaining half he’d share with his crew. Half! Oh man. That was more than Rex and Reginald would have ever dreamed of giving me. I’ll admit, I was a little suspicious at first—Napakakos seemed a bit spaced-out after last night’s walloping. He stayed in his tent most of the day attending to the baby turtle, for which he played the accordion and had Kid Vicious go about digging up worms to feed it. Perhaps he was brain-damaged, but I wasn’t going to jinx it. Uglygod waved it off when I mentioned as much during his workout. “Boss suffers from good moods sometimes. It’ll pass.” Well, maybe that was also why Roger J seemed more comfortable than ever hanging around all day, making himself of use where it wasn’t really needed. He had remembered a few things about electric clippers that he needed to talk to me about, as well as some weight-training tips I could use if I wanted to get started. This guy. I was starting to figure him out. Everything you’d been through, he’d been through something worse, he was one of those people. You lost a tooth? No matter, he’d once lost two, these ones you’re seeing here are replacements. With his junior muscles and his neon tracksuit, he seemed a bizarre facsimile of the others, as if he were a fan, or someone auditioning. Also: he answered rhetorical questions. I said at one point, shivering, “Gosh, is it cold enough for you yet?” and he responded without a pause, “Funny you should feel that way, I’d say too cold, actually.

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