Parenting the ADD Child: Can't Do? Won't Do? Practical Strategies for Managing Behaviour Problems in Children with ADD and ADHD by David Pentecost

Author:David Pentecost
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2010-02-01T12:16:00+00:00

The sequence may be somewhat familiar. But what could Helen do to change this situation?

First, notice the number of silly wind-ups that Harry uses to get attention in the first few minutes. They are designed to get Helen focused on him, not Ronnie. Unfortunately, Helen falls for it every time. She always responds to his provocation. Instead of ignoring it, she rewards his attention-seeking and he simply does more of it.

Second, notice that only at the end of the 15 minutes - when everyone is tense and upset - does she use the only weapon she has against Harry's attention-seeking - which is to ignore it.

Third, Helen is absolutely superb both when she removes the TV lead - thereby ending the source of the wind-up - and when she follows it up by turning her back and ignoring the tantrum.

As we discussed this sequence, Helen realised that she needed to starve all the nonsense of its attention-pulling power. I encouraged her to look for any opportunity she could find to boost the positives in Harry's behaviour outside of times when the two of them are arguing or fighting. This meant spotting every time Harry was cooperative or sensible.

One other thing Helen could not ignore was Harry's pulling Ronnie's hair! She had to intervene and take action. However, there were many opportunities - both before and after this incident - to ignore Harry's behaviour, and she was wholly right when she finally ignored the tantrum that followed.

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