Out of the Blue: Six Non-Medication Ways to Relieve Depression (Norton Professional Books) by Bill O'Hanlon

Author:Bill O'Hanlon [O'Hanlon, Bill]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Published: 2014-04-21T00:00:00+00:00

RITUALS OF CONNECTION

One of the things about depression is that it often impairs motivation and disrupts one’s daily life. A simple way to help someone get back on track is to help him restore or develop daily rituals of connection. This may be why people who have pets when they’re depressed seem to do a little better—that pet depends on them to feed, water, and clean up after it. The dog demands a walk. The horse must be brushed. Having something to do on a regular basis gets the person out of bed or out of the house and doing something.

Even if there are no pets, having daily rituals, which often can be carried out more automatically and therefore don’t take as much energy as new tasks, can be helpful. When I was depressed, I found washing the dishes by hand to be a particularly comforting and connecting daily ritual. Since I am often cold, having my hands immersed in warm water felt good. I connected to my body in a sensually pleasing way. I also got a sense that I had accomplished something, even though it was a small something, after I finished the dishes.

The kinds of rituals that relate to the topic of this chapter and that give the most bang for one’s buck are those that connect the depressed person to himself, to others, and to something beyond. Possibilities might include going to church once a week, going for daily walks, doing art, journaling, saying nightly prayers, engaging in morning meditation sessions, taking a yoga class twice a week, or meeting a friend for lunch once a month.

Here is a sample therapy conversation about daily rituals:

Therapist: How has being depressed disrupted your daily routines?

Client: I don’t have any daily routines anymore. Sometimes I can’t even get myself to brush my teeth.

Therapist: What kinds of things did you used to do every day?

Client: Well, I would get up and get the paper from the front door and then make some coffee and read over the financial section. Then I would shower and get dressed. Then I would wake up my wife and the kids and have breakfast with them.

Therapist: Is there any part of that, depressed as you are, that you think you could add back in?

Client: Well, I’m not sure I’m up for having breakfast with everyone, but I do miss that time with the paper and coffee in the morning. Maybe I could get back into that if I set an alarm. I used to wake up spontaneously, but that doesn’t happen anymore.

Therapist: I think one of the things depression can do is rob us of our routines, so I think it might be good to try it. You up for it?

Client: Yeah. And getting up earlier will probably be good for me too. I’ve been staying up too late and I’ve gotten out of sync with the family.

Therapist: Okay, good. Let me know how it goes.

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