Now That I'm Alone by McKenzie Rae

Author:McKenzie Rae [Rae, McKenzie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Crazy Ink
Published: 2020-01-08T22:00:00+00:00

Countless Ways to Harm

Lesson Number Seven: Conform

I’m starting to see that there’s a lot more to the world than I used to believe. Suddenly, I’m wondering if anything is actually impossible, or if we’re only limited by our imaginations. That’s the thing, though. Humans are limited. And if you want people to think you’re human, then you need to play the same game everyone else is playing.

Learn about sports—you’re in America, so football (not the soccer version of football) is especially important. Read books, fiction and nonfiction. Watch movies and TV shows. Learn about human history. And listen to music, seriously. I can’t tell you how fundamentally human music is. If you need to relate to somebody, music is a good way to do it. Although, coming from an aspiring musician, I might be biased. I have an old portable CD player. If you want it, you can have it. I’ll even burn you a CD with a personalized playlist.

My point is, it doesn’t matter how human you look or how well you speak the language. There’s more to being human than those things. There’s a certain something we have that I don’t know how to put into words for you. The only way you can see it and learn it is to stop hiding in the shadows and join the masses. You’ll never learn how to play the game if you’re always sitting in the bleachers.

***

I don’t need Missy. I’ll figure out how to get my identity back from that kid in the food court on my own.

I haven’t seen Missy since the incident at the mall, which is just as well. When I first got home after that, I punched a wall. Big mistake. The swelling and bruises didn’t fade for days. It’s been five days since Monday, and now whenever I think of her, I bang out the angriest melody I can think of on my keyboard.

I can’t stand to be at home anymore. Dad is frustrated with Mom because she won’t listen to him. Mom is mad at Dad because she translated him wanting to plan for a possible future outcome as him wanting to give up on me. Axel is mad at Deanna because she’s become pissy and combative, and Deanna’s mad at everyone for…I don’t know. Reasons. On top of all that, everybody’s worried and stressed over me, even though I haven’t gone anywhere.

Life at home is a giant crap fest.

So, I’ve taken to spending a lot of nights at Kai’s house where I at least have the two dogs to keep me company. That also means I’ve gotten to sit in on more meetings of Operation: Find Riley.

By now, the group has realized their mistake in making Devin the note taker. No one except him and a handful of his teachers can read his handwriting with any consistency. It’s too late to give the job to someone else, though. Devin has stepped into the role and is now taking it super seriously. He acts like he’s writing down confidential information that needs to be kept secret from enemy eyes.

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