Mind the Gap, Dash and Lily by Rachel Cohn & David Levithan

Author:Rachel Cohn & David Levithan [Cohn, Rachel & Levithan, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2020-08-25T00:00:00+00:00

“I wonder what that’s like, to not like someone you work with,” I said to Dash as we passed by huge billboards for The Thames of Our Lives on the Embankment.

I snuggled tightly onto Dash. My happy place. We were on a Thames River boat cruise, which Dash had told me was the most efficient, and relaxing, way to see the most tourist destinations in London without actually having to go to any of those destinations. (Therefore, more time for book and record stores, museums and libraries, strolling through parks and shops, and eating ice cream and English chocolates.) Within a matter of minutes on the riverboat, I’d seen the Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, and the London Eye, which Dash mercifully did not take me on for an aboveground view of London because he knows I’m scared of heights and prone to vertigo and nausea. Seagoing, however, was pure joy. I loved the chilly air, the wind, the sights, and especially having Dash all to myself, my head on his shoulder. Then the Tower of London appeared in the distance and I thought of the horrible things involving heads that happened there, and I placed a grateful kiss on Dash’s precious neck.

“If it’s anything like going to school with people you don’t like, probably not so fun,” said Dash.

“Do you hate Oxford?”

“Not at all. I’m just not so sure I’ve found my ‘tribe’ there.”

“Where do you think your tribe is?”

“I wish I knew.”

“Who are your tribe? Besides me, of course.”

“Thank you for not saying #SquadGoals. In New York, I feel like I knew the answer to that question. Here? Gem, and that’s pretty much it. So far.”

I love my family, but I’d probably be bummed too, if my one human connection in the place I’d most longed to live turned out to be my grandmother. If only Dash liked dogs more, he wouldn’t be struggling so hard. I said, “You’ve only been here a few months. You just need more time to find your people. If I decide to go to Pembroke, I’ll be close by. Would that help?”

I wanted him to say, “If you were here, that would make everything right. It would be a dream come true.” Instead, Dash said, “Or, you living here would distract me so much that I really never find my way.”

In my fantasy of living in England, close to Dash, I hadn’t considered that angle. I knew he was right and just being honest, but I also felt slighted that his first instinct wasn’t to proclaim extreme enthusiasm for my potential move closer to him.

I asked, “Would it make you happy if I came to school here too?”

“It wouldn’t make me unhappy.”

That was a distressingly dissatisfying answer. “Are you saying you think I wouldn’t like it here, or you might not like me being here?”

We untangled and faced each other. He appeared taken aback. “I didn’t say either. I’d love it if you were here. I’m just not sure if I want to be here.

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