Manic A Memoir by Terri Cheney

Author:Terri Cheney [Cheney, Terri]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Biography & Autobiography, Personal Memoirs
ISBN: 9780061430237
Publisher: HarperCollins

When next I woke, it was to Dr. Graybeard poking my shoulder with his pen. I looked around him: yes, the white coats were all assembled, too. “So, now are you willing to admit that you tried to kill yourself?” he asked me.

I glanced down and noticed that while the sheet had been changed, I was still lying on the same urine-soaked mattress. That decided me.

“All right, Doctor, I admit it. I was trying to kill myself,” I said. “Now can I get out of these straps?”

I could swear a fleeting smile crossed the doctor’s face. He pulled a large set of keys from his pocket, fiddled with them for a moment, then matched one to my cuffs. I have never heard a more melodious sound than the four successive clicks that heralded my release. I clapped my hands in sheer delight, then wriggled my legs up in the air. To hell with dignity, just for the moment: I was free! A couple of the white coats way in the back started to giggle. Dr. Graybeard effectively silenced them with a single frown.

“Now, young lady, since you’ve cooperated, your treatment can finally begin,” he said. “We’re going to transfer you to the inpatient unit. You’ll meet others there with problems just like your own. I’m sure you will enjoy that.”

Trying hard not to let my eyes betray me, I smiled at him and asked, “If I do well on the inpatient unit, can we renegotiate the fourteen-day hold?”

He didn’t smile back, but then he didn’t frown, either. “We’ll see” is all he said, then he stuffed his pen inside his shirt pocket and walked away, his entourage close on his heels.

“We’ll see.” “We’ll see.” What the hell did that mean? With my mother, it always used to mean no; with my father, it always meant yes. I couldn’t decide which parental figure the doctor more closely resembled. Nor did it matter, I supposed. The point was, I was the child. I curled up into a tight little ball and sucked gently on the sore, inflamed skin of my inner wrist.

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