Louder Than Words by Joe Navarro

Author:Joe Navarro [Navarro, Joe]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2010-12-15T05:00:00+00:00

SELF-AWARENESS CHECK

Now that you know the key issues of appearance that others—from juries to human resources personnel to CEOs—notice and comment on, ask yourself these questions:

How do others view me?

How do I view myself?

Am I attractive (not pretty or handsome) to my colleagues and clients?

Am I marketable?

Do I impress others?

Is there something about me that is objectionable to others?

Would I benefit from a serious makeover?

I hope you are honest with yourself. If you aren’t sure about your own evaluation, perhaps a trusted friend can give you a true assessment of how you look and present. Sometimes we all need a good friend to tell us to stand up straight, clean our shoes, and yes, lose a little weight.

Feedback can be motivating. It beats wondering why we aren’t getting hired or promoted, and no one will tell us it’s because our clothes are rumpled or our spare tire makes us appear slovenly. If you feel you’re in a rut, that people are not respecting you, or that you’re not getting promotions, you can effect change.

Noticeable improvements are possible with surprisingly simple modifications in things as basic as your posture and your gestures. Two very noticeable changes that can be observed in young men and young women when they return from military training are their posture and movements, which we discussed in the previous chapter. Parents and friends are immediately impressed by the transformation that they see in these individuals. They’re the same people, but their confident movements change the perception of even those who’ve known them for a lifetime. It’s not just their uniform; it’s the purpose and dignity of their bearing.

But for you and me, it all begins with asking, “Is there something about me or the way that I dress or behave that is hindering me?”

In chapter 1, you learned how quickly we make these evaluations—known as thin slice assessments—about others. We know that some people form these assessments within one-fourth of a second and that dissuading us from our initial impression takes a very, very long time. True, socially competent people test these first impressions against day-to-day experiences. When an initially nice person turns out to be a creep, we adjust our impression. This is a healthy way to go through life and prevents us from being victimized by strangers or even family members. To a large extent, however, those first impressions will be with us for a long time to come. And we all know and work with people who are rigid and inflexible in their thinking. For them, first impressions are forever.

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