Joke-tionary Jokes by Thomas Nelson

Author:Thomas Nelson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Tommy Nelson
Published: 2019-06-07T00:00:00+00:00

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Why are elephants terrible dancers?

I don’t know. Why?

Because they have two left feet!

Q: What do podiatrists need to help elephants?

A: Toe trucks.

Q: What did the bunny say to the carrot?

A: It’s been nice gnawing you!

Q: What was the trumpeters’s favorite color?

A: Blew.

Q: Why didn’t the students hear the music?

A: It wasn’t aloud.

Q: What do bakers put on their beds?

A: Cookie sheets.

Q: What did the burrito say to the nacho?

A: Where you bean?

Q: What snacks can you make right on the beach?

A: Sandwiches.

Q: What did the toast say to the knife?

A: Stop buttering me up.

Q: What did the outfielder say to the baseball?

A: Catch you later!

Q: What did the teacher say to the unruly bees?

A: Please start BEE-having.

Q: What did the bee say when she returned from work?

A: Honey, I’m home!

Q: What did the lawyer say when the judge called for order?

A: I don’t know. Maybe a chicken sandwich and fries.

Q: What did the chemist say to the atom that thought it lost an electron?

A: Are you positive?

Q: Why do you never ask a golfer the time?

A: Because they always say FORE!

Q: What is the worst kind of flower to give on Valentine’s Day?

A: Cauliflower.

Q: Why is 4+4 never hungry?

A: Because it already eight.

Q: What is the best thing to feed a snowman?

A: Chilly.

Q: What did the tree say to the ornament?

A: How long are you hanging around?

Q: What do eggs do when you read them this book?

A: They crack up.

Q: What should you serve a skeleton with its coffee?

A: A mop.

Q: Where do scary monsters win crowns?

A: At BOO-ty pageants.

Q: What did the bat say to the pretty girl?

A: Mind if I hang around?

Q: What did the light bulb say to the pretty girl?

A: I love you watts and watts.

Q: What did the two Velcro pieces say to each other?

A: We’ve really gotta stick together.

Q: What did the dolphin do when she got angry?

A: She flipped out.

Q: If you have three dozen hamburgers and you eat half of them, what do you have?

A: A stomachache.

Q: Where do penguins keep their money?

A: In snowbanks.

Q: How does a duck detective catch a bad guy?

A: He quacks the case.

Q: What did the queen name the knight who discovered the wheel?

A: Sir Cumference.

Q: What is something you almost never eat right before bedtime?

A: Breakfast.

Q: What is something you never eat for dinner?

A: Lunch.

Q: Why did the turkey get cut from his baseball team?

A: Too many fowl balls.

Q: Name ten things you can always count on.

A: Your fingers.

Q: Why is the ocean stronger than the beach?

A: The ocean has more mussels.

Q: What tree might grow fingers?

A: A palm.

Q: Why were the dark ages so dark?

A: Because of all the knights.

Q: What is really easy to get into but really hard to get out of?

A: Trouble.

Q: Why were the fish upset with the electric eels?

A: The eels’ behavior was shocking.

Q: What is the best-smelling thing at the dinner table?

A: Probably your nose.

Q: What did Adam call the first 365 days after God gave him Eve?

A: New Eve’s Year.

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