In the Silence by Jaimie Leigh McGovern

Author:Jaimie Leigh McGovern [McGovern, Jaimie Leigh]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781387067602
Publisher: Lulu.com
Published: 2017-06-29T07:00:00+00:00

19. BELLAMY

You’re surprised, really, that you don’t have as tough of a time as you’d expected with essentially cutting yourself off from your family. You’re surprised that when you receive the key to your apartment in the mail, no note attached, a sort of passive aggressive action on your mother’s part, that you only feel the smallest sting. But, really, you know— You know that you don’t have a reason to have a tough time. Not really. Not when— Not when for twenty-three years, you’ve been— You’ve been essentially made to feel like an emotional burden on your mother. You’ve been made to feel like a thorn in your sister’s side. Just because— Because you exist, and because you’re not perfect. You might be pretty and blonde, like the rest of them. You might look so much like your mother that it's frightening. But, you’re imperfect. It doesn’t matter to them that everyone is imperfect. It matters that your imperfections can be seen. In your gait that's just a little off. In your inability to follow quick conversations. In your dog. And your signing. So— It doesn’t hurt you that you’re not allowing them to define you anymore. It’s a relief almost— You think. And— You’re planning your tiny wedding. You’re planning the rest of your life with this woman who sees you. And who just— Who thinks you’re wonderful and beautiful as you are.

Thanksgiving comes and goes in a flurry. Elena comes down to spend it with you. And— While Sofia goes to spend some time at the station, coordinating her donations, Elena, she— She just— Makes you cry, because she tells you, if you’d like, she’d be happy to go look at wedding dresses with you. Sofia told her, you’re sure, that you were going to find one on your own. But, Elena, asking you that, offering you even more of a place in her family— It makes you nearly shake. Because to feel love— Love in any form. It’s just. It’s a lot for you to handle. So, you go with her. You go with your very-soon-to-be mother- in-law, because you and Sofia, you decided that as soon as the holidays are over, you’re doing this right away. You have no reason to wait. You go, and you shop, and, Elena, she helps you with veils, she does zips and buttons. And— More importantly. She gives you her time, she gets to know you more, and you— You learn things about the woman who brought the love of your life into the world. The woman who gave everything in her to make sure your Sofia got to where she is now. The woman whom your almost-wife has nothing but the greatest admiration and respect for. She gives you time, and, when you find the dress, she hugs you and kisses your cheeks, and she just. She makes you feel so at home in her presence.

The third day of the new year. That’s when you and Sofia decided you’ll be married.

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