I'm Not Broken by Jesse Leon

Author:Jesse Leon [Leon, Jesse]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2022-08-23T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12

When I returned to school the following week, the first thing I had to do was check in with the principal. I promised again that there would be no more fire alarms. During third period, a security guard walked into my class, whispered something in the teacher’s ear, and handed her a paper.

The teacher looked at me and said, “Jesse, they want you in the counseling office. Security will walk you down.”

In unison, the class started in on me: “Ooooooh, you’re in trouuuble.”

In the counseling office, Joy wasn’t at her desk. Security walked me toward the very back of the office—a familiar walk for me now. I thought, Oh fuck! What now?

The guard handed the paper to a guy sitting in the back corner office, which was just big enough for two chairs and his desk. He had an open backpack on the floor and a stack of books; two were open, as if he’d been studying. I’d never seen him before. He closed the open books, walked out of the office, and said, “Jesse? Come into my office and have a seat please.” Security told him he’d be waiting outside. The man had a friendly demeanor. He wore a flannel long-sleeve shirt, like a Pendleton, with a white T-shirt underneath, creased jeans, and a pair of black-and-white Converse. His hair was cut in a high fade, longer on top.

I plopped down on the chair he indicated, leaning way back. I pulled my beanie out of my back pocket, put it on my head, and rolled it down to just below my eyebrows, crossing my arms and resting my chin on my chest to give off my typical I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude.

“I’m Izmael, but you can call me Z. I go to San Diego State University and work in a program to recruit Latinos to go to college. Have you thought about what you want to do after high school?” he asked.

“Nope.”

“Have you considered going to college after high school?”

“Nope,” I responded with the same I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude.

“Has anyone in your family ever gone to college?”

“Nope.”

“If you could be anything in this world, what would you want to be? Have you given that some thought?”

“Nope.”

“So what have you thought about? What are you thinking about right now?” Z asked. His demeanor was changing from friendly to annoyed.

“Nothing,” I responded as I moved my head up slightly, enough for him to see my eyes from under my beanie. “Why you asking me all these questions, and who the fuck are you, anyway? You don’t fuckin know me. So quit actin like you give a fuck.”

He slowly got up from his desk. He walked toward his office door, told the security guard still standing outside, “I got this. It’s all good,” and shut the door.

Z walked slowly back to his desk and reached for his stack of books with both hands. He took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh as he lifted the books and slammed them hard onto his desk. I jumped back, moving my gaze up toward him.

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