I Hate Everyone But You: A Novel by Gaby Dunn & Allison Raskin

Author:Gaby Dunn & Allison Raskin [Dunn, Gaby]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2017-09-04T18:30:00+00:00

Re: SIGNING OFF

* * *

Ava Helmer <[email protected]>

to Gen

I love how you somehow manage to take my side regardless of how despicable my behavior. I’m too afraid to recast him. I would rather attempt to play it cool and act as though he isn’t the only guy who has seen me naked.

TREATY OF VERSAILLES

* * *

Gen Goldman <[email protected]>

to Ava

Operation Make Alex Look Bad is in full swing. I have now met up with him twice, and both times I was the pinnacle of politeness. Turns out, I do have manners. I guess my rudeness has been a choice and not the product of a poor upbringing. I even bit my tongue when he suggested it was a GOOD IDEA the NSA can read our emails.

He insisted that we meet at his place, which is an off-campus apartment in Beacon Hill (for snobs). The whole place was decorated as though the person who lives there has a good personality, so I have to credit it to his roommate, who was MIA and probably more interesting. We spent the first hour or so talking about everyone at the paper, which was fun, and then we started arguing about the assignment in a very passive-aggressive, adult way. Our second meetup was even more heated, but I kept my cool and made him feel dumb at least once. Instead of attacking, I pulled a Dr. Lily and asked “Why?” 4,000 times until his logic started to crack.

We’re splitting up the research, but he still wants to make calls in the same room. He’s obviously very suspicious and wants to hear (and steal) all of my questions.

I found out Alex also has Charlotte as a TA but thinks she is a “flake posturing as a serious journalist.” I resisted informing him that that flake has a great ass!

You would be proud of me. I’m keeping all my feels on the inside, like a WASP.

“Those who would give up liberty for security deserve neither.”—Genevieve Franklin

P.S. What happened to our quote thing??? I miss us.

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