How to Listen, Hear, and Validate by Patrick King

Author:Patrick King
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: PublishDrive

Chapter 4. Validation and Conflicts

A: “I feel like you’re always criticizing me…”

B: “What are you talking about? I never criticized you!”

A: “I know you don’t mean to, but that’s what it feels like.”

B: “Well, what did I say? I’ll take it back.”

A: “It’s not about what you said…”

B: “Well, I don’t know what you want—do I have to apologize for something I never did?”

In this chapter, let’s delve a little deeper into what validation (and self-validation) really looks like in the real world, where messy conflicts are possible. Though it’s not too difficult to understand and sympathize with someone who is feeling upset, it’s a different story entirely when they’re upset with us. And though we can acknowledge that someone has a right to their own perspective, it can be very difficult to know what to do when that perspective directly threatens our own.

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