How to be Heard by Julian Treasure

Author:Julian Treasure [Treasure, Julian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633536722
Publisher: Mango Publishing Group
Published: 2017-09-02T16:00:00+00:00

HARAH

Here’s another useful acronym that offers a different window onto effective, conscious listening. I offer all these perspectives so that you can try them on and choose the one that works best for you.

H is for humility. Listening comes best from humility, not self-importance. With a modest or at least right-sized self-image, we are able to admit much more easily to the possibility of learning, of receiving gifts, of being surprised and delighted by what someone is saying, rather than having to know everything or be right.

A is for awareness. Conscious listening is active, which means you need to be aware that you are doing something if you are to do it effectively. In my experience, the vast majority of people listen unconsciously, in their default listening position, unaware that they are filtering and making meanings. If you can stay conscious, actively part of the process, aware that you are deploying a skill, then you can dramatically change your outcomes in life.

R is for respect. We’ll see in Chapter Six that wishing people well is a crucial element of powerful speaking. Respect is the corollary for listening. I have learned over the years that judging books by their covers is a very ineffective way to go through life. Many times I have been astonished at the wisdom, the searing honesty, the imagination, the creativity, the compassion or the profundity that has come out of people I arrogantly thought would not be worth listening to.

A is for attention. It’s no accident that this one arises time after time. Listening with full attention is one of the most wonderful gifts you can give to anyone.

H is for humour. In my experience, it’s a grave mistake to take oneself too seriously. Retaining a sense of humour when listening, especially to things we disagree with, is a great antidote to pursed-lipped disapproval and superciliousness.

THE 4 CS

Conscious listening takes effort. It’s also helped by choosing some compatible states. Here are 4 Cs that will move you a long way in the right direction.

Commitment. You’ve listened in a certain way all your life. Habits that established will not change overnight, so commitment is essential on 2 levels. First, the exercises and practices in this book require it: they won’t change you instantly, and most of them will take some time and repetition to work their magic. Second, in every listening situation you can commit yourself to listen consciously.

Consciousness. As we’ve discovered, for most people natural listening is unconscious, which means they are not aware of how they are shaping their reality. Go conscious and you take the controls, disengage the autopilot and choose your own destination!

Compassion. You can substitute ‘care’ if compassion is too weighty, but I do urge you to try it on. This may be a feeling of loving-kindness, well-wishing, empathy or simply identification. If you listen from any of these positions you will extract more juice from almost every conversation. If you don’t care, you are probably not going to listen at all.

Curiosity. Generating a state of curiosity is a marvellous way of spicing up your listening.

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