How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe

Author:Jessica McCabe [McCabe, Jessica]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2024-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

EMOTION DYSREGULATION GETS US IN TROUBLE

As kids, emotion dysregulation can get us labels like “overly sensitive,” “immature,” or (sadly) a “brat.” Our emotional meltdowns are sometimes misinterpreted as tantrums, and we’re often shamed and even punished for having emotions our brains just don’t know how to manage.

Dr. Barkley contends that out of all the challenges adults with ADHD have in the workplace—arriving late, being disorganized, struggling with focus—emotion dysregulation is the one that gets us fired. We’re quick to get emotionally “flooded” and to express raw emotions even when it’s not appropriate for the situation. To make matters worse, when cycling from one mistake, obstacle, deadline, or oversight to the next, we frequently don’t have the time we need to return to our emotional baseline. And the words that come out of our mouths when we’re frustrated or furious are tougher to forgive than a late clock-in or a messy desk.

But ADHDers experience emotion dysregulation with other emotions, too. Sadness, fear, desire, or rejection (even perceived rejection) can be unbearably intense (more on rejection sensitivity in “How to People,” this page).

Positive emotions, such as excitement, joy, humor, and even love, can spiral out of control, too. As anyone who’s watched The Notebook can attest, too much of a good thing can lead to some questionable decisions.

Because our difficulties with emotion dysregulation create very real problems in our lives, we might come to believe that our emotions themselves are the problem. Therefore, we do what we can to avoid them.

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