Horse Barbie by Geena Rocero

Author:Geena Rocero [Rocero, Geena]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2023-05-30T00:00:00+00:00

14

FIREFLY

“MODEL GO-SEE” IS A BIT of jargon that means exactly what it sounds like: You go and get seen by a photographer. Go-sees are the grunt work of modeling—the auditions before the auditions.

As my career picked up, my agents were sending me all the time to these quick advance meetings. They’ve got a brusque show-me-your-portfolio, let-me-see-your-vibe kind of feel. You walk in wearing neutral clothing, whip out your lookbook, and chat for a few minutes. The hope is that if you gel with the photographer, they’ll use you in their next booking or at least agree to do a test shoot with you.

The really enterprising models—and I was one of them—wouldn’t just do the go-sees our agents scheduled for us; we’d also email photographers ourselves. You’ve probably noticed by now that I’m not the type to sit around and wait to be told what to do. Maybe that’s the immigrant habit of making the most out of each situation. Or maybe I just didn’t want to run out of money. If I didn’t keep hustling, my ass would be back in San Francisco before I knew it.

But finding out how to get in touch with photographers was a full-time job. I spent all my spare time online. I scoured industry websites, searching for contact information, listed or otherwise. Not to mention the hours I pored through the websites of photographers’ agencies. It felt like the only way I could get an edge.

I felt frustrated every day I wasn’t shooting. And when I was shooting, I was thinking about all the other kinds of shots I needed. I needed more high-fashion pictures. No, I needed more commercial pictures. No, I needed more beauty pictures. No, more sexy pictures. I had to cover as much of the market as possible. In hindsight, it might not have been the smartest move to spread my image so thin, but I worried that if I didn’t try to do everything, I’d end up doing nothing. As a Filipina model especially, I couldn’t let any opportunity pass me by.

By this time, my bookings were leaning toward the “sexy” market. But when I did lingerie or swimsuit shoots for an ad, the work felt mechanical. The lingerie had to be shot from a hundred different angles for the packaging. We’d start, take a few shots, and then the photographer would move the light for the next set.

“This shot is for the three-in-one panty package.”

He’d move the light again.

“This one’s for the in-store signage.”

We’d repeat the process ad nauseam. I felt less like a model than a mannequin. I was there to be bent, flexed, and posed. Hey, at least I could pay my rent. But I was always searching for more—a way to capture the essence I hadn’t yet expressed.

Then one day Randy Paris responded to one of my cold emails asking for a go-see. Randy was the fashion photographer and creative director for a luxury outerwear brand I had long admired. His photography was unmissable. You’d

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