Home to Harmony by Philip Gulley

Author:Philip Gulley
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: HarperCollins

My wife could scarcely bear the first tearing of this mother-child strand. She stayed home and cried. I did my grieving alone, in the fifth pew. I was thinking how this was it, this was the Going Away. Twelve years from now he’ll leave for college. Then he’ll sit across the kitchen table and talk about a job six states away. We’ll move his things in a U-Haul. We’ll talk on the phone every Sunday night. Begging him to come for a visit, without making it sound like begging. Giving him room. Trying not to let the hurt show when his plans don’t include coming home.

“No, son, don’t you worry about Christmas. Don’t give it a thought. Your mother and I understand. We know you’re busy. You know we’ll be thinking of you. Let’s shoot for next summer. Don’t forget we love you.”

Putting a brave face on things. We learn that in first grade.

I went to fetch him at two-thirty. Waited outside the school, on the sidewalk, in front of the buses. Saw him skipping out the building toward me. I rubbed his burry head, laid my hand on his shoulder, and felt his skinny bones.

“Hey, little man, how was your first day of school?”

“Neat. But if you’re bad, you get your name written on the chalkboard,” he told me.

“Back when I was little, they used to give paddlings,” I told him.

“Did you ever get paddled?” he asked.

“One time,” I told him. “It was for my religion. Faith is not always an easy thing. Try to remember that.”

My hand dangled at my side. He reached up to hold it. Automatic, without thinking. Hold Daddy’s hand. I wondered when that would end, when the day would come that my hand would hang empty.

We were walking past the Coffee Cup. I asked him if he was thirsty. Of course. Always thirsty.

We sat in a booth and shared a Coke. A rare treat.

“Let’s not tell your mother about the Coke,” I suggested. “It can be our secret.”

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