Home at Last by Bonnie Leon

Author:Bonnie Leon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: B&H Publishing Group
Published: 2010-01-11T00:00:00+00:00

Mattie spent that day and night in jail. The following morning Jasmine came to visit. “I heard you were here. I'm so sorry. I'm sure they'll figure this out. I feel like it's my fault. If you hadn't stood up for me, no one would have bothered you.”

“It's not your fault. It's just stupid people.”

Jasmine smiled. Her teeth looked very white against her black skin.

“How do you do it?” Mattie asked.

“Do what?”

“How do you live with the…injustice? I'm so mad!” Then more quietly she added, “And ashamed. I want to be anyone other than who I am.”

Jasmine smiled kindly. “Now that just won't do. You can't hate what God created.”

Mattie frowned. “I wish he had made us all the same.”

“The world would be pretty boring, don't you think?” jasmine crossed her arms. “I just don't listen to the voices, especially the ones inside my head that say I'm not as good as everyone else. God knew what he was doing when he made me. I'm special just the way I am.”

“I wish I could believe that. All my life I've felt inferior to other people, and someone has always been around who made sure to tell me I was. Kids teased, parents wouldn't allow me to play with their children—”

“I know, but you can't listen to that. It's not you or me they're mocking, but who they think we are.”

“I know, but it doesn't help.” Mattie looked at Jasmine. “When I came here, I thought I could be somebody, not an…outsider.”

“Do you think that just because you move people won't see the color of your skin? No matter where you go, you'll be there. You can't leave yourself behind.”

“But I want to. That's what I'm saying.”

Jasmine's dark eyes flamed, and she lifted her head slightly. “You should be proud of who you are. How can you walk on this earth as a representative for God if you're ashamed of his work?”

“What do you mean, ‘his work’?”

“Well, he created you, didn't he?”

Mattie knew Jasmine spoke the truth, but she couldn't grasp a sense of who she was. Most of her life she'd only known self-loathing. “It's not so easy to just change my mind.”

“Of course, it isn't, but God will help you to see, if you let him.”

“I can't be like you. I wish I could but—”

“God's not asking you to be like me,” she snapped, sounding almost angry. “You must embrace who you are.” She looked down at herself. “Do you think all the wishing in the world could make me something other than a Negro?”

“No.”

“So, what am I going to do about it? I've got to accept it. There's no other way. And then I live my life the best I can, not being ashamed and not hiding. You've got to think about what it is God wants you to do while you're here on this earth, and your heritage is part of that.” She gripped the bars. “Mattie, you've learned a lot here in Seattle, but what have you taught Seattle about you? About your people?”

Mattie was taken aback.

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