His Bundle of Love by Patricia Davids

Author:Patricia Davids
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Steeple Hill
Published: 2006-11-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

A few days later, Caitlin stifled a groan, picked up her spoon and stirred the thin oatmeal in the orange plastic bowl in front of her. She forced herself to swallow a bite.

Between the chills and the sweats and her aching body, all she wanted to do was sleep, but her rest had been fitful at best. The shelter was noisy even at night with so many women packed into one room, and her bed, the one closest to the only bathroom, guaranteed she heard the gurgling and clanking pipes every time it was used.

She took another bite of her unappetizing fare and almost gagged. Oatmeal wasn’t her favorite food even when her stomach wasn’t doing flip-flops. She forced down a third spoonful. She had to keep up her strength so that she could be with her daughter.

Beth wasn’t doing well. She’d had another seizure and had been started on another round of antibiotics. It seemed like she took one step forward and fell back two. The last few days had been really rough.

Sometimes, Caitlin wondered if it was wrong to put Beth through so much pain. She wondered if it wouldn’t have been better if… If she hadn’t lived.

The terrible thought tormented her each time Beth underwent yet another round of painful tests—each time she watched sobs rack her daughter’s tiny body when she was poked for blood or another IV. Because Beth was still on the ventilator, she couldn’t make any sounds. Somehow, the silence of her crying made it all the more gut-wrenching to watch, and Caitlin’s burden of guilt grew heavier.

If this is Your plan, God, it stinks.

Mick had faith. It was plain for all to see, and Caitlin was moved by his devotion, but she couldn’t find it in her heart to accept a God who would let a tiny baby suffer.

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