Her Neighbor's Pleasure by Shosha Pearl

Author:Shosha Pearl [Pearl, Shosha]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-02-28T16:00:00+00:00

Shabbos in the summer came in late. During the long hours of daylight, families like Esther's and Sholem's brought Shabbos in early on a Friday night, so that the children ate at a reasonable hour. It was still light when Sholem stood with the boys and the few other men at camp in the mountains welcoming the Shabbos queen, just as the sun beat heavily through the windows as Esther lit candles at home with her children. As she stood before the two newly-lit flames, waving her hands before her eyes three times, she thought of him, her runaway husband, and mentally pulled him in towards the children and herself, so that in her mind he stood beside her as she recited the blessing that ushered in Shabbos.

With only her children for company, Friday night dinner was quick and the family was in bed before darkness had fully descended outside. Lying in bed alone, Esther was aware of every inch of her body, the touch of sheets felt like caresses on her skin. Unhindered by witnesses, she wanted to spread her legs as wide as they would go and slide her fingers along her warmth. She could trace the lines of pleasure with her mind. But it felt wrong, somehow, to do this when Sholem was away. She had managed to go a full week without touching herself – despite constantly craving to do so. For days she had been able to think of little else besides sexual pleasure – hers, her husband's, her neighbors', even the pleasure of people in whom she had no particular interest. In the grocery store she thought about the woman with the large breasts who always sat behind the till and wondered what gave her pleasure. At the school pick up, she saw a father lead his child across the road, and she suddenly saw him naked, erect, his eyes filled with passion. Outside, she watched the man working in the garden and wondered whether he liked to please his wife – whether he enjoyed placing his face between her thighs. She was plagued by thoughts that both appalled and excited her.

That Friday night she lay alone in the darkness, almost willing her little boy to call out so that she would not be alone with her thoughts. When his voice finally came to her, she rose and broke her rule not to lift him. Instead, she carried his plump body into the living room and held him as he drank from a lukewarm bottle of milk and snuggled against her. The apartment lights went off with the Shabbos timer while the two of them sat in the warm night's silence. Meir fell asleep quickly; Esther's eyes stayed open, fixed on the still, black apartment of her neighbors.

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