Glittering Images by Susan Howatch

Author:Susan Howatch [Howatch, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-0-00739-639-9
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 1987-02-04T13:00:00+00:00

THREE

‘Childless husbands and wives fall easily apart.’

Letters of Herbert Hensley Henson

Bishop of Durham 1920–1939

ed. E. F. BRALEY.

I

I went to the bathroom and sat for a minute on the edge of the bath. When I had myself completely in control I returned to my room and found Darrow was still sitting at the table but I gave him no chance to speak. Immediately I said, ‘My marriage is of no significance in this context and I don’t want to waste your time talking of matters which are of no significance. I know it’s ridiculous that I haven’t remarried, but all I have to do is to pull myself together and behave sensibly.’ As I spoke I was moving around the room, pausing by the bedside table, picking up the Bible, flicking through the pages. The various books streamed past my fingers: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua –

‘Obviously you’d prefer to resume this conversation later,’ said Darrow, rising to his feet. ‘I’ll leave you to unwind.’

‘You completely misunderstand!’ I said annoyed. ‘You’re thinking I can’t go on but I can – of course I can! And I don’t need to unwind – I’m not wound up!’

‘Then why are you pacing around like a lion at the zoo?’

I bit back the exasperated blasphemy, smothered the impatient obscenity and flung myself down in my chair again. Darrow too resumed his place but although I waited for his next question he merely embarked on a minute examination of his Abbot’s ring until at last I was driven to demand, ‘Why don’t you say something?’

‘I was waiting for you to talk to me.’

‘But I’ve nothing to say!’

‘Very well, we’ll sit in silence.’

I leant forward and tugged at his sleeve to stop him examining the ring. Then I said, ‘I want to go on but I can’t unless you ask questions.’

Darrow immediately reverted to his usual close attentiveness. ‘Let’s leave your wife for the moment,’ he said, ‘and talk about these ineligible women who have been attracting you since her death. In what way were they unsuitable for a clergyman?’

‘They were divorced or separated or agnostic – or if they weren’t agnostic they were vague Deists like Loretta.’

Darrow said casually, ‘Did you sleep with any of them?’

I was appalled. ‘Good heavens, no, of course not! Word would have got around – it would have ruined my career, my whole future – I couldn’t possibly have had sex with any of them!’

Darrow said, ‘Who’s “I”?’

I was silenced.

‘We know for a fact,’ said Darrow, ‘that someone called Charles Ashworth has indeed had sex recently with one of these ineligible women, a vague Deist called Loretta Staviski.’

‘That wasn’t me.’

‘So it was your other self who made love to Loretta. But how does he normally manage if he finds chastity difficult?’

After a pause I said: ‘He goes abroad. Holidays. Always abroad. Loretta was an exception because when I’m at home I usually succeed in keeping him locked up.’

‘And at the end of these holidays abroad there’s always confession to a

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