Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings by Steven G. Rogelberg

Author:Steven G. Rogelberg
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Oxford University Press
Published: 2023-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

Communicate Authentically and Transparently

1:1s are all about communication. Communicating well is an essential piece to meeting the personal needs of the direct. At the core of this big category of behaviors is effectively providing both positive and constructive feedback to your team members. Namely, team members should understand your expectations and, on an ongoing basis, know about where they are meeting the mark and where there is need for improvement. This sound easy, but clearly in practice, it is not. For example, in a global study consisting of nearly 900 participants, 72% of employees indicated that their manager did not provide critical feedback despite them wanting it.3 This is consistent with the extant research on how managers avoid or are reluctant to give constructive feedback to their employees.4

Curious about how all of these findings apply to people by generation? Research suggests that individuals from every generational group sampled (Baby Boomers, Gen X, and Millennials) were open to positive feedback as well as constructive feedback (even more so than positive). In general, counter to conventional stereotypes, the older respondents were most desirous of feedback—both positive and constructive.5

Previous research suggests that reticence to give constructive feedback is because managers are concerned about the negative interpersonal consequences it might have.6 Moreover, managers do not feel motivated to put in the effort that delivering constructive feedback requires—especially with the potential to have these negative effects.7 However, it seems that the most common reason feedback is not given is that leaders underestimate the value that giving feedback can have for their directs.8 The above three reasons create a cycle of not giving feedback—a problem that we and our 1:1s can rectify.

Prior to giving feedback, make sure that your behavior and actions on the job are consistent with the behavior you are asking others to engage in. To do otherwise sends a confusing message to the direct: “Do as I say, not as I do.” At the same time, feedback tends to be the most well-received when it’s solicited by the recipient. In the absence of this, you can still ask your direct if they would like feedback on X or if you can share some feedback around Y that you have observed. They will invariability say “yes,” but this simple question does help pave the wave for a bit more receptivity, allays blindsiding, and offers a nice segway into the conversation.

Feedback should be appropriate, specific, timely, behavioral, and descriptive rather than broad, and evaluative (e.g., “You are just not doing a good job”). By focusing on more specific behaviors of concern, the direct is better able to see what they need to do to correct. Or, in the case of praise, the specificity serves to encourage continuing of certain behaviors. It is important that the feedback you share addresses behaviors that are under the direct’s control. Getting feedback on behaviors one does not control can be quite demotivating (e.g., telling someone they need to process their orders more quickly if the operational system to process orders is broken).

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