Feeding the Green Monster by Rob Neyer

Author:Rob Neyer [NEYER, ROB]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: SPO003000
ISBN: 9780759525061
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2001-06-30T16:00:00+00:00

At 8:45 tonight, just a few seconds before Randy Johnson threw his first pitch in the 2000 All-Star Game, it hit me: I can’t cheer. It’s been so long since I sat in a press box, going on two years now, that I’d forgotten the rules: no alcohol (don’t care) and no cheering (do care). And no singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game,” either. Granted, I’m not actually in the press box proper—like the great majority of the media, I’m in the auxiliary press area, far beyond the left-field fence—but I think the rules here are the same.

I hate that. Or maybe I can cheer. I’m not sure. If Jermaine Dye takes Tom Glavine deep and I start screaming, what are they going to do? Take away my membership in the Baseball Writer’s Association of America? Nope, because the BBWAA won’t let me join in the first place (newspaper writers only need apply). I suspect that if I do stand and applaud Jermaine Dye or Mike Sweeney, the only thing that’ll happen is the people around me will think I’m a bit daft. And they might report me to the Fun Police, but I can handle those goons.

Regrettably, the extent of the Royals-related excitement was Dye’s leadoff walk in the fourth, and even I wasn’t moved by that action. If the American Leaguers had taken a late-innings lead, I might have jumped out of my seat. But that wasn’t necessary, as the National Leaguers spent the last four frames flailing away helplessly.

And boy, do I love it when the Americans beat the Nationals.

For every day of the baseball season, I’m neutral in the A.L. vs. N.L. debate. On a personal level, I prefer the American League because I don’t particularly enjoy watching pitchers (try to) hit. But on an intellectual level, the game does seem to make more sense if every fielder, including the guy on the mound, has to bat. And I misspent much of my youth watching National League games on TV, on WGN (Cubs) and WTBS (Braves). So I got no complaints against the Senior Circuit (as broadcasters used to call the National League).

But once the All-Star break rolls around, I hate the National League. It’s not so much that they kept beating the Americans all those years, it’s that they were so damned arrogant about it. And about . . . well, about everything. They don’t talk about the All-Star Game anymore because it’s been pretty even for the last five years or so. But they still talk about the “more aggressive style of play” in the National League, which always drives me nuts. Like you put a guy in an American League uniform and suddenly his testosterone level drops off the table like a David Wells curveball. Please.

Wednesday, July 12

Another flight, another Nomar sighting. This shouldn’t be a big surprise, I guess, as there are only so many nonstop flights between Boston and Atlanta. I didn’t actually see him this time. I boarded

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