Exquisite Surrender by Lillie Alexander

Author:Lillie Alexander [Alexander, Lillie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: anonymous
Published: 2022-06-29T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter fifteen

Sebastian

We stayed up most of the night snuggled in bed drinking bubble tea, eating green tea mochi and watching movies, as we had to head back to Seattle early in the morning. As soon as we boarded the airplane, Alexandra crashed into bed. I slide behind her, trying not to wake her up as I nestle closer to her naked body. Closing my eyes, I let out a pleasurable exhale as her warmth seeps into my skin. I trail my fingers up and down, savoring the sensation of her soft skin under my fingertips. A flutter of lust ignites in me, making my cock hard. Down boy, I scold myself. She needs to rest after having that euphoric catharsis last night. Last night's Kinbaku session took everything from me, mentally, emotionally, and physically. As I wrapped the red rope around her body, it became the tether connecting our souls. The chemistry between us sparked a flame inside me, setting my entire being alight. The buzzing energy flowing through my veins made me feel powerful and in complete control. No one else existed, and nothing else mattered, just her inhalations and exhalations, her heartbeat and body movements. She put her life in my hands, trusting me to keep her safe and rescue her if something went wrong.

Her willingness to surrender completely despite her fears gave me a high, better than any drug. Sometimes, the high can last for days before I come crashing down, plunging headfirst into a deep hole of despair and self-loathing—it's not fun. Meditation taught me how to accept the good and bad parts of myself, the light and dark inside me. Before I discovered meditation, things were different. I'd spiral into emotional hell, tormenting myself with dark and obsessive thoughts and images. This isn't right. Your parents didn't raise you to be a monster. You're damaged. How could you enjoy causing pain to your partner? You don't deserve to be alive. I thank my lucky stars for learning how to accept the darkness in me, the monster that feeds on my partner's pain and pleasure. I've been with many submissives and as a Dom, it's my responsibility to maintain the delicate balance between taking and giving, ensuring my submissive is cared for and protected. With Alexandra, I have this insane compulsion to be her hero. I know it's stupid. She's a strong, independent woman who can look after herself and doesn't need me to swoop in like a knight in shining armor to rescue her. But she's been through so much trauma, and despite being resilient, she needs a partner who will support, encourage and challenge her to reach her full potential.

I roll onto my back, staring at the aircraft ceiling. Exhilaration rampages in my chest, keeping me wide awake. With my mind racing, there's zero chance of falling asleep. We should land in Seattle in a few hours; I might as well get up and catch up with my emails. Hoisting myself up, I throw on my jeans and T-shirt and stroll to the lounge area.

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