Even As We Breathe by Annette Saunooke Clapsaddle

Author:Annette Saunooke Clapsaddle
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The University Press of Kentucky
Published: 2020-04-14T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seventeen

In the morning, I was in my own bed, wrapped around myself and within a sweat-dampened quilt. I was helped there at some point in the night, but was too tired to resist or notice who led me. Likely, it was Myrtle and Preacherman, as they were both in the kitchen when I stumbled in looking for a strong cup of coffee. My eyes cleared only to see the blur of Myrtle’s. She did not even wait to hear “Good morning.”

“I’m sorry, son.”

I fell into a kitchen chair.

“Early this morning … In her sleep. Peaceful.”

“It likely was a blood clot or aneurysm.” A new voice spoke, rising from the living room. Dr. Pritchett had been called. And now he was being served coffee as if he had just come by for a neighborly chat. “She passed quickly. She was getting older, son. She’d fought this off quite a while already.” He spoke calmly, practiced.

“Fought what off?”

“Death,” Bud intervened. “Death. We’re all fighting it off.” He was angry and already loose-tongued. Bits of cornbread speckled his white T-shirt as he crammed the remaining piece into his mouth between words. As early in the morning as it was, he had already begun sweating. I was not as mad about his insensitivity as I was that he felt he had a right to be angry.

“Her heart had been giving her trouble for some time, Cowney. That along with other complications that come with age. Sugar and blood pressure. It just all finally caught up to her,” the doctor continued.

I looked around at all the people in the room. When had they arrived? When had Lishie left? How could so much have changed while I slept? I attempted to speak. “But I didn’t—”

Myrtle tried to comfort me. “Your lishie wasn’t the kind of person that is going to burden her grandson with that sort of worry.”

I pushed the kitchen table away, shaking the breakfast bowls and plates, and ran to Lishie’s room. She was exactly where I’d left her. The covers were straight and neat around her body. Her face was even paler than before, graying to the hue of her hair. Someone had folded her hands onto her lap like she was sitting in her Sunday pew awaiting Preacherman’s call to worship.

I whispered her name, desperately hoping that she would share the secret with me, open her eyes and smile as if she had just played a trick on everyone else. “Oh, Lishie. No. No. No. Please, Lishie.” I draped my arms across hers and buried my face against her shoulder. “I can’t—” No more words came, only tears, followed by a throbbing head.

Myrtle came in with a cup of coffee and helped me into a bedside chair. She was wise enough not to speak for some time. She watched as I spoke without words to my Lishie, punctuating each regret, each promise, with salty marks.

I felt so guilty that I hadn’t stayed. If I had known … I would have written down everything she told me.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.