Ego State Therapy by Emmerson Gordon

Author:Emmerson, Gordon [Gordon Emmerson]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781845905996
Publisher: Crown House Publishing
Published: 2011-03-06T16:00:00+00:00

3.2 Improving Ego State Communication

Section 3.1 provided a discussion of one of the three functions of Ego State Therapy, to locate ego states harboring pain, trauma, anger, or frustration and facilitate release, comfort, and empowerment. This section provides a discussion of a second function of Ego State Therapy, to facilitate functional communication among ego states. The common phrase “he is at peace with himself” or “she is at peace with herself” refers to good ego state communication. A person can be internally settled when ego states respect each other and communicate in a productive fashion. Examples of comments people may make that signify non-functional ego state communication are, “I don’t know what gets into me. I wish I wouldn’t say those things. I don’t mean them”, “I hate that part of me that gets so upset”, “Part of me wants to finish school, and part of me just wants to take off”, “I love him, I hate him, I love him, I hate him”, “I know I have to get this work done, but I get into a state where I just don’t want to do anything.”

One of the most powerful examples of a person with poor ego state communication is a person who might be diagnosed as having obsessive-compulsive disorder. This person may have a state that has a great need to repeatedly check locks, or to enact some other behavior in a compulsive manner. The state that acts compulsively may be hated by other states that just want to get on with life. This person will not experience a settled peace within until the states learn roles that can be respected by all states.

A common physiological response to poor ego state communication is headache, tension or migraine. Other physiological symptoms may also result from poor ego state communication, or from unresolved trauma (see section 3.1). Experiencing internal peace promotes better psychological and physiological health.

Our internal family of states is not unlike a large nuclear family group. Within a person may be a family of states that communicate and function well, or there may be states that feel alienated, or subgroups of states that operate in opposition to other states. It is important to remember that all states started for the benefit of the person. All states see their role as important. Sometimes states do not understand the role of other states, and sometimes states assume roles that may be detrimental to the person (see section 3.2.3).

Improving ego state communication involves gaining the confidence of each state. States may need to change their roles. States will need to learn to respect and cooperate with other states. This work can be frustrating, and it involves good negotiating skills, but it can facilitate internal peace.

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