Don't Take Yes for an Answer by Steve Herz

Author:Steve Herz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2020-06-16T00:00:00+00:00

Warm Output

We’ve already discussed the best ways to express authority and communicate with others. But managers and leaders who deliver authority without warmth often tend to devolve into authoritarianism, expecting high performance of employees or teams for no other reason than it has been demanded of them. Effective leaders are authoritative, not authoritarian. The difference is profound. With the latter, teams perform their best out of fear of punishment; in the former, people perform their best out of a desire to contribute to the success of something they care about, whether it’s an individual project or task or an entire company mission. Which leadership style do you think encourages the most creative, innovative, energetic, determined thinking and problem solving? Which will elicit a strong sense of duty and commitment, the kind that sustains teams even when the stakes and expectations are high and the road gets rough? You get that kind of performance and dedication by delivering authority with warm output that conveys authenticity, humility, empathy, and vulnerability. It’s indicative of our culture that many of my clients balk when I suggest they be more vulnerable and warm in the workplace. Won’t that undermine their authority? It will not. Presenting yourself with vulnerability is not about showing weakness or being too soft. It’s also not about TMI or exposing all the sensitive details of your personal life. In fact, that’s where people get it wrong—when they feel pressured to share more than feels comfortable and wind up feeling like they’re playing a role to get ahead at the workplace, they’re not being authentic and true to themselves9 and that undermines authority. Similarly, the second people suspect that you’re oversharing to gain favor or pity, or to create an artificial bond, you’ve lost them.10 It also matters what kind of vulnerability you reveal. Even psychologist and bestselling author Brené Brown, one of the chief promoters of vulnerability as a leadership tool, cautions, “You don’t stand in front of people who work for you and say, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing and it’s all going to hell.’”11 By her definition, vulnerability and courage are the same thing.12 Or as she said in a TED Talk, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”13

Vulnerability in the workplace is simply about revealing that you’re human, which makes you relatable to everyone in the room. Showing the right amount of vulnerability actually boosts your authority, so long as it’s done selectively, judiciously, and authentically.

Tom Coughlin, former coach, now executive VP of football operations for the Jacksonville Jaguars, learned this the hard way. Shortly after joining the New York Giants in 2004, the coach became so famous for his sternness and rigidity he had his own time zone—Coughlin Standard Time—which every die-hard football fan knows to mean you’re only on time if you arrive five minutes early. When I spoke to Coughlin for this book, I arrived five minutes early. He was punctual, of course. That’s about the only thing that hasn’t changed about him since he nearly lost his coaching job with the Giants more than a decade ago.

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