Disappearing Act: a True Story by Jiordan Castle
Author:Jiordan Castle
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
YEARS FROM NOW
My mom will tell me it was selling our American Girl
doll stuff that broke her heart. Mine was Felicity,
Leslieâs was Samantha. Felicity rode horses
and Samantha was rich. Victorian?
These dolls with their stories, their books,
their accessories. Hairbrushes, suitcases, a horse
with a saddle and stirrups.
Leslie will have wanted them for her kids,
just in case, and Iâll have wanted my Pokémon cards
if only to look at them, protected in plastic.
WEEKEND
I tape up the last few open boxes I have
containing my little green stuffed hippo
and so many stuffed zebras,
an old music box from Disney World,
my dadâs keyboard, half-empty notebooks,
a couple of tubes of lip glossâ
anything not nailed down or in drawers.
Everything except
my everyday notebook,
where I write about the kiss, Chris,
and losing my only Mew card to a stranger.
Peanut watches from the floor,
edging toward the boxes and then
running away as I tear off bits
of packing tape. I text Chris and Maya
different updates
about the progress, promising to hang out
with each of them this week
after school.
We donât hear from my dad
all weekend,
which makes me feel the horrible mix
of fearâthe what if
that loops through my dreams at nightâ
and relief. The silence a threat
and a gift.
My mom says, Iâm sure heâs fine
but crushes her napkin in her hands
at dinner on the couch,
a depressed mountain range. Leslie says,
How do you KNOW. My mom says,
I DONâT. Leslie says, All we do is worry
about him, what about us, a question
with no answer.
Leslie gets a text
and says sheâs going out
with her friends. My mom says, Good,
have a good time. Drive safe.
She doesnât ask when sheâll be home.
It feels like we have an unspoken rule:
just come home. Thatâs it.
More of a promise than a rule, really.
At least thatâs how I feel.
I finally tell my mom, Maybe itâs just busy,
you know how it is, with the phones, I mean.
We lie to each other
and watch Galaxy Quest because itâs on TV
and because we both love the team
hurtling back to Earth,
rewinding time,
barely saving themselves from collapse.
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