Dangerous Games by Geissinger J.T
Author:Geissinger, J.T.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-11-19T00:00:00+00:00
THIRTEEN
EVA
I pray.
On my knees, next to the bed, out of a lifetime of habit. Dear Lord, please hear me. Dear Lord, please help me. Dear Lord, if you were standing in front of me now, Iâd kick you right in your holy balls, you sanctimonious prick.
Why give me something so beautiful only to snatch it away? Whatâs the higher purpose in that? What could possibly be the point?
Yes, yes, I know. Suffering is the point. Testing my faith is the point. Seeing how high a mountain of shit Iâm willing to climb in your name is the point.
Hallelujah.
Father, forgive me, but I just now realized you and Dimitri have a lot more in common than I thought.
I shift my weight from knee to knee, wincing at the stiffness in my legs. Itâs nothing compared to the stiffness in the rest of me, body and soul.
Naz is dead. The only man who ever made me feel safe and loved and seen is dead.
Yet here I am, surviving. Staring at this expensive white silk duvet cover, growing more and more atheist by the breath, wanting nothing more than to paint this whole room with Dimitriâs blood.
Iâm losing it.
Maybe I never had it to begin with.
Maybe Iâm an artificial snowflake inside a plastic snow globe being shaken by a child in an alien galaxy in another dimension, millions of light-years away.
Iâd cry if I werenât so stunned. Iâm that deer straddling the double yellow lines in the middle of the highway, too shocked by the huge steel grille of the eighteen-wheeler bearing down on me to have the presence of mind to jump out of the way.
I donât bother turning when I hear a knock on the door. I simply wait for whatever comes.
âGospozha?â
Itâs Stefan. Poor Stefan, who recently lost someone, too. I canât help but feel Vladâs death was my fault, though it was Dimitri who pulled the trigger. In a way, Dimitri was right: I should have known better. I knew the kind of devil I was dealing with.
So the body count to date is three. The WolfâDimitriâs henchman sent to New York to kidnap meâthe Wolfâs companion, and Vlad. Four, actually, if I count Naz, whoâd still be alive if heâd never met me.
And that angry dog at the apartment, too. So five.
Noâthat isnât it, either. How many of Dimitriâs soldiers went to their final reward during that gun battle in the living room? Eight? Ten? Letâs split the difference at nine. And letâs not forget Raphael and the captain of the Silver Shadow, and the number is up to a whopping sixteen lives snuffed out, directly or indirectly, because of me.
Well. Iâm really racking them up. One could say Iâve gone professional.
âGospozha? May we come in?â
âSure,â I say dully to the duvet. âIâm just in here counting the corpses.â
The door opens. After a moment, someone clears his throat.
âMadam. Iâm here to put the cast on.â
I look over my shoulder. There stand Stefan and the doctor, both looking at me with great concern.
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