Craved by the Alien Berserker (Warrior Mates of Zivon Book 9) by Presley Hall

Author:Presley Hall [Hall, Presley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-12-30T05:00:00+00:00

15

Tyrek

I can tell that I’ve hurt Callie by detaching from her the way that I have, but I don’t know what else to do. My soul aches unbearably to see her so unhappy, to know that no matter what I do, I can’t keep from hurting her in some way—but emotions will heal. The physical damage that I could do to her won’t.

What does the mate bond feel like for her?

I haven’t said anything to her about it, wanting to keep the knowledge of it to myself to protect her, but I can’t help but wonder. She must feel something—but surely it’s not as strong for her as it is for me, not this painful, soul-aching draw that makes me feel as if I’m coming apart at the seams by staying away from her.

I’ve told myself over and over again, every time that the guilt feels unbearable, that because she’s Terran it won’t be the same for her as it is for me. They don’t usually form these kinds of bonds—it will fade for her, and probably quickly at that.

Part of me knows, just from seeing the look in her eyes, that that’s not true. That I’m just reaching for excuses, ways to salve my own guilt and pain, by telling myself that she’s not aching as badly as I am.

“What other things?” she asks softly, her words catching a little, and I realize with fresh pain that she’s trying not to cry. It makes me feel horrible, seeing her like this, and I reach for a way to smooth things over, to make her feel as if we’re some kind of partnership again, even if it’s not the kind we both long for.

“Our plans for tomorrow,” I tell her quickly. “We need to find that crystal for Rok, as soon as we can. We know that they grow most frequently in caves, and I have some clues as to where there might be a cave system in the forest where we can find them. We’ll start out at first light.”

“That sounds like a good plan.”

Callie’s voice is muted, her arms wrapped across her waist, as if she’s shielding herself from me. It’s what I feared, and now it’s coming true, because I couldn’t control myself. Because I couldn’t deny her, and myself, any longer.

I shift uncomfortably, not entirely sure what I can say that won’t hurt her more.

“We should get some rest,” I say finally, and Callie nods.

I give her the bed, as usual, feeling a throb of pain through my entire being at the memory of what we did there last night. After finding the soul mark on my chest, it feels wrong, like a physical effort to go to the other side of the room as she curls up wordlessly in the bed, facing away from me. And once I’m there on my mat, I can’t fall asleep.

It’s impossible, with her so close and so unreachable all at once. I feel hyperaware of her every movement, her every breath, and after a while, I hear her whimpering in her sleep.

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