Conversation Transformation: Recognize and Overcome the 6 Most Destructive Communication Patterns by Ben Benjamin & Amy Yeager & Anita Simon

Author:Ben Benjamin & Amy Yeager & Anita Simon [Benjamin, Ben]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: McGraw-Hill
Published: 2012-02-13T05:00:00+00:00

Communication Challenge 4: Leading Questions—a Question and Answer All Rolled into One

Alert readers who remember the lessons of Chapter 3 may have recognized what the managers did to contribute to the communication breakdown: they were all yes-butting. But what was it that triggered this arguing? What was their leader doing?

What Ricardo Garza intended to do was facilitate an open dialogue. Often a good way to do that is to ask questions, and he did ask quite a few. The problem was the types of questions he asked: “Yes?” “Isn’t that right?” “Don’t you agree?” All of these questions encourage competition, rather than collaboration, because all of them are leading.

Many people find leading questions extremely frustrating. When someone uses this type of communication, they’re doing two different things at once: giving their own opinion and asking you for a response. The “right” or expected response is to agree with their opinion. Suppose your aunt says, “Aren’t these fruitcakes delicious?” Her opinion is “These fruitcakes are delicious,” and the expected response is yes. Or maybe your manager says, “It won’t be a problem for you to work overtime today, will it?” Clearly the expected response is no.

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