Coming Home to Autism by Tara Leniston

Author:Tara Leniston
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784508081
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2018-03-22T04:00:00+00:00

Telling you when your child needs the toilet

Your child may not link the feeling they have to the need to go to the toilet. You will need to help them by interpreting the behaviour you see, labelling it for them and then guiding them with what they need to do. Initially, this means not waiting for them to ask, but rather telling them what to do. You can do this spontaneously – that is as you see it. The language you use needs to be simple and concrete. And if you can get into the habit, say it as your child would if they could. For example, ‘I need to wee’ rather than ‘Christopher needs a wee’ or ‘You need a wee’. This is because many children echo language exactly as a way of learning and you want to give them the right phrase for their voice.

You can go one step further and keep a diary of your child’s possible toileting behaviours and times when their nappy is wet or dirty. The diary, along with the knowledge that typically people may need a wee 15–20 minutes after drinking, can help you label ‘I need a wee’ and take your child to the toilet before you are at the point of rushing after seeing the wee dance or stooping. Therefore, it can be a calmer approach to take.

If your child is yet to use words, you can match your words with an object (toilet roll), photo or symbol. A speech and language therapist can help you understand your child’s level of symbolic understanding and therefore what system is best to support them. Objects of reference may be useful; these were discussed in Chapter 2.

If your child can’t tell you that they need the toilet, even after some time, can they still be out of nappies? In my experience, if the child has some control over their bowel and bladder as discussed earlier, they can achieve some level of independence in the toileting process through toilet timing, also known as habit training. This is when the child is taken to the toilet at regular and key times during the day. They learn to use the toilet routinely rather than relying on interpreting the sensations that they need to go for a wee or poo. They may still struggle to interpret the feelings of needing to go. They may also struggle to communicate this. But by learning to go to the toilet frequently in their routine, they can keep mostly dry and clean.

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