Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent's Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children by Rachel Garlinghouse

Author:Rachel Garlinghouse [Garlinghouse, Rachel]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 9781630021702
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Published: 2013-03-05T05:00:00+00:00

Establishing an Open Adoption

Open adoption is legally enforceable in a few states. In most, the adoption professional (agency or attorney) and the birth parents expect the adoptive family to honor the promises they make to the biological family members. It’s important to note how incredibly frightening it is for many birth parents to have to rely on the adoptive family to hold to the open adoption agreement.

First, adoptive parents should educate themselves on open adoption before entering into any adoption. Understanding what open adoption is (and isn’t) empowers the adoptive parents to make an informed decision about whether open adoption is a good decision for their family or not. It’s important to be honest with your social worker or attorney about your feelings and questions regarding open adoption.

Once the family has decided that an open adoption is a good choice, the next step is to assess the adoption situation that comes their way. Based on the information provided to the adoptive parents, is it healthy and safe for the child, and for the entire adoptive family, to enter into an open relationship? Remember, all relationships take time to develop, so open adoption doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing and sudden experience.

Next, with the assistance of your adoption professional, establish what open adoption might look like for your family. (It’s important to involve all family members in this exploration). Likewise, the birth family should express what they hope for out of the adoption. “Open” might mean something very different to you than to the birth family. If your child is old enough, he or she will also want a say in what type of relationship he or she desires.

Options in an open adoption might include:

An exchange of e-mail addresses (some adoptive families set up an e-mail account or private blog just for communication with the birth family)

An exchange of phone numbers and/or addresses

Becoming “friends” on social media websites

An exchange of photographs

An exchange of information

Visits (How often? Where? When?)

Gatherings (Birthday celebrations, holidays, etc.)

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