Business Bullshit by Spicer André;

Author:Spicer, André;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor and Francis
Published: 2017-04-14T04:00:00+00:00

The only person who seemed to be signed up to the brand and its importance was the Dean of the school. He alone lyrically told me about the unique qualities of the school’s brand. Indeed, the business school itself routinely went through brand-building and brand-refreshing exercises each time there was a change of Deans.

This obsession with the language of post-modern managerialism is by no means limited to the business school. It has become a common feature of life throughout the institution. The University’s Vice Chancellor, a respected post-structural theorist who had written extensive critiques of post-modern managerialism, turned his talents towards concocting corporate strategy when he arrived at the institution. One of his first acts was to produce a strategy statement running over 30 pages. Strategising, like any hard work, is a job which is never done with. If you look at currently refreshed version of the University strategy, you will find a treasure trove of empty management speak: ‘world-class’, ‘dynamic’, ‘enterprising’, ‘enable’, ‘excellence’, ‘agility’, ‘sustainability’ and that is just in the first two paragraphs. Of course, there is nothing outlandish here. This university with a ‘unique reputation’ uses exactly the same stock of words to describe what makes it special as almost any other university in the world. In fact, many of these words could easily fit into a strategy statement for an automobile manufacturer, an accountancy firm, a healthcare service, a sewerage treatment facility or a chain of gardening supply stores.

Despite this world-class strategy, some rather embarrassing incidents at the university began to surface in the national press. First, a Professor in the English department was suspended for ‘inappropriate sighing’ during departmental meetings. Then, a group of students were tasered and gassed by police after occupying part of the central administration building as part of protests at creeping managerialism at the university. To avoid creating a negative message, the public relations office decided what was required was an official university ‘tone’. A common colour scheme? No. The university already had that in its official brand pallet. What it needed was a common tone of voice for its employees to use. A twelve-page document detailed how ‘writing in a tone that’s true to our brand, we can express what it is that makes the University unique’. So, what then is unique about the tone? The University is ‘a place that fundamentally rejects the notion of obstacles – a place where the starting point is always “anything is possible”. This can be best communicated using the language of what could be and the phrase – what if’. The phrase is in bold text for some reason. ‘“What if” is more than just a phrase’, we are told, ‘it summons up a whole identity. The person who asks what if is a relentless challenger always in search of the new and constantly asking questions about different, better ways of thinking, doing and being’. That person uses ‘what if’ sound-bites like ‘We can solve it by .…’ ‘No one else has tried

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