Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship by Adelyn Birch
Author:Adelyn Birch [Birch, Adelyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-09-09T18:30:00+00:00
It’s no secret that psychopaths and other manipulators and abusers target those with weak boundaries—meaning those who don't know what they want, who have a need to please others, or who put the needs of others before their own. Putting others first is considered a virtue, but in truth it backfires. There are plenty of people willing to let you sacrifice yourself on the altar of virtue for their benefit, and to the detriment of yours.
If it’s so important to us to please another person, when things aren't going well we only look at ourselves to see what the problem is—we wonder what we’re doing wrong, and wonder why we aren’t "enough" to keep this person happy. We don’t think that they may be the problem. We don’t think about our own unhappiness and dissatisfaction in the relationship, only theirs. Even if we do, we blame ourselves for it. If we know what we want and don't want from a relationship before getting involved in one, we could say “You know what? I’m not happy in this relationship anymore. It started out great, but things have changed drastically. This is not the kind of relationship I envisioned for myself. It’s not good for me, and in fact it’s become quite detrimental. I will not be involved in this any longer.”
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