Blue-Skinned Gods by SJ Sindu

Author:SJ Sindu
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
Publisher: Soho Press
Published: 2021-08-08T19:57:09+00:00

3

Roopa grew tired of keeping our relationship a secret. Traditional Hindu culture held no space for dating—we wouldn’t have known the concept if it weren’t for English literature books and the foreign visitors who came to the ashram. According to Ayya, dating took place after the wedding.

“Let’s get married,” Roopa said one night as we laid on her bed, still mostly clothed. We hadn’t yet had sex—Hindu traditions forbid it, but we’d kissed and rubbed each other half-naked, and after three years, I’d stopped feeling guilty about it afterward.

I hugged Roopa tighter. If we got married, Roopa and I wouldn’t have to hide our love anymore. At this point, we’d hosted plenty of weddings at the ashram, and I knew all the rituals. I’d even officiated some celebrity weddings. I pictured it—Roopa wearing a red wedding podavai and a garland of flowers. Her father would come, and she would sit on his lap when I tied the golden thali around her neck to signify our marriage.

But Roopa wasn’t a Brahmin, so caste would be an issue. And there was still the matter of our age. Amma had been my age when she married Ayya, but men were supposed to marry later in life. Ayya hadn’t brought the subject up to me, not even a hint, which meant that he thought I wasn’t ready. But I could take care of Roopa. Nothing much would have to change. She and I would move into a room together, that was all, and we could love each other openly.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Roopa asked me. She caressed my cheek. She was lying on her side, facing me, her head on her hand. The sun blazed in through the window, hot and sweltering, coaxing little beads of sweat onto her upper lip.

“I’m going to talk to Amma about it,” I said. That, at least, I was ready for. I’d been thinking about it for a while. The news might jolt her out of her catatonic state—a shock to the system, good or bad.

I had to first get Amma on my side before broaching the subject with Ayya. She was sick and tired and slept a lot, but she would understand. She would be happy for me, and she would take my side when it came to Ayya.

“Are you sure?” Roopa asked. “She’s fragile.”

But Amma loved Roopa. They still ate breakfast and lunch together when Amma felt up to eating. Roopa took tea and food to Amma’s room on a tray and sat with her to make sure she ate. Amma already regarded her as a daughter.

“She’ll be happy for us,” I said, though I wasn’t sure. Love marriages had been increasing in India, but parents still panicked at their kids basing the most important relationship of their adult lives on what could be a fleeting emotion. The village elders brought news of upsetting new marriages across caste and religious lines happening all over Tamil Nadu. And Ayya, sensing their distress, took their side, and assured them they had every reason to be troubled.

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