Bitter Sweet Love (The Dark Elements - Book 1) by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Author:Jennifer L. Armentrout [Armentrout, Jennifer L.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: MIRA Ink
Published: 2013-11-30T18:30:00+00:00
Chapter Ten
We ended up not leaving the city until the following afternoon and the trip south, toward the nationâs capital, was quiet. It had been that way since last night. Dez hadnât treated me any differently. Quite the opposite. He talked, he prodded at me and tried to coax me into conversation as we left New York and crossed into New Jersey, but I was too caught up in my own thoughts.
I lay back in the seat, head tilted toward the passenger window. Buildings and houses blurred in a steady stream. A bitter taste lingered in the back of my mouth, a cocktail of guilt, shame and confusion, and no amount of drink or food would wash it away.
I kept telling myself that I had nothing to feel guilty about. I hadnât abandoned Dez. Heâd been the one to leave me and I hadnât made him any promises, but the reassurance rang hollow.
Even my sister couldnât truly understand why I was so resistant to the idea of mating with Dez, especially considering how much Iâd cared for him. But when he left and when I finally accepted, after the many months had turned into a year, that he wasnât coming home, I had mourned him. Grieved him as I had my mother. I could recognize the blessing of him returning, but three years of mourning was a long time to let go of and I didnât even understand why heâd left. He claimed it had nothing to do with my fatherâs offer and it was obvious that he wanted me, but I needed more. Answers for one thing, and I wanted what my parents had had in their life togetherâlove and trust.
Part of me recognized that I was still in love with Dez, that I never stopped loving him, but I didnât believe he felt that way for me. Not in the way I needed him to, and as for trust? Whatâs to say that a year from now he wouldnât just up and disappear again?
I shifted in my seat, restless.
Maybe more than our past was keeping me wary. Perhaps it had to do with me. After all, the whole mating business was serious. Iâd be pledging myself to someone for my entire life. The very moment I mated, I would be thrust into adulthood, facing very adult demands. I wouldnât be the only eighteen-year-old to do so, but it was a lot to even think about. Maybe I wasnât ready and my excuses were really just thatâexcuses. A crutch.
Weâd crossed into Pennsylvania hours ago and as the SUV eased into an exit lane for a town called West Chester, I straightened in my seat and glanced at Dez. âWhere are we going?â
âYouâll see.â
And that was all he said as we drove through the town and then beyond, onto a narrow winding road that was crowded by thick trees. He turned onto a road I hadnât noticed. About five minutes later, he parked along the shoulder. Dust filled the air as we climbed out.
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