Bear Witness (Out of Line collection) by Mary Gaitskill

Author:Mary Gaitskill [Gaitskill, Mary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-08-31T23:00:00+00:00

My sister used to criticize me all the time, for lots of things but mostly for being an “enabler” and a “martyr” and a “fool” for teaching dumb kids at local schools when if I tried, I could’ve done better. When I was young she mocked me for always being “good” and “too nice.” She accused me of having secret motives. She said I did it to make Mother and Daddy love me more. It was the family dynamic, I guess.

I remember her talking about a story in the paper about a white teacher at Porterfield Community College who’d befriended a former black student who had mental health issues. He helped the ex-student find a job, loaned him money; he even bought him clothes for the interview. When the guy got a job and then lost it, his former teacher helped him again, going so far as to buy him a computer. But even with all the help, the student’s life took a bad turn, and he must’ve blamed his teacher because he bought a gun and shot the man to death.

“That idiot deserved to die,” said my sister bitterly. “His behavior was stupid and insulting. He set himself up before this poor crazy kid as someone who could solve all his problems, who had all the answers. He acted like the black kid had no responsibility, like he, the big white guy, was the one who could make it happen. It makes total sense that a disturbed person would take that literally, that he would hold that dumbass responsible instead of himself.”

She’s clever, my sister, and bossy. I could even almost agree with her about that story. But I wasn’t dealing with mentally ill adults. I worked with children. It was my job to help them. Yes, I went above and beyond with some of them. Bought them supplies, and a backpack once, mittens more than once, a scarf. I passed out healthy snacks in case they hadn’t had breakfast. I made mistakes sometimes, and it’s true; sometimes kids take advantage. Parents can get mad at you for helping. But I didn’t do that with Mark. I helped him but not out of bounds. Maybe not even as much as I should. Because I felt sorry for him, but I didn’t like him. That sounds terrible because he was just a kid. But kids are people. And some people you just don’t like.

I didn’t help him get the job at the shop. I just didn’t stop it from happening either. It was pure chance I dropped in that day. When my father asked what kind of student he was, I told him the truth, that he was unruly and I thought troubled. But basically a good kid, I must’ve said that too. But I still don’t know why my father hired him. Except he thought I was a goody-goody too. If I said a boy was unruly, he probably thought it meant he was normal.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.