Be the Best Bad Presenter Ever by Karen Hough

Author:Karen Hough
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Published: 2014-06-20T16:00:00+00:00

* * *

I’ve learned that people will forget what you

said, people will forget what you did, but people

will never forget how you made them feel.

— Maya Angelou

* * *

WHAT IS YOUR BODY REALLY SAYING?

But wait — there’s more. Dr. Albert Mehrabian, a psychologist and professor at UCLA, tells us about the importance of nonverbal communication. Mehrabian was interested in the impact of verbal and nonverbal communication on our impressions of each other — how we decide whether we like another person. He was really curious about the effect of inconsistent messages (like saying yes although your arms are crossed and your body is tight, which nonverbally indicates no). The study found that in deciding whether we like someone, body language (visual and total body picture) is worth 55 percent of our decision.12

But what else mattered? Mehrabian also determined that tone of voice (vocal) is 38 percent of the reason we decide to like someone else. Call-center professionals know this only too well. In a company I work with, they have a phrase called “poor voice.” If someone arrives at work after an argument, if they were especially stressed, they might have trouble calming their voice before getting on the phone. That could kill sales. If the employee can’t calm down and control his tone, he might be sent home.

So that leaves us with 7 percent. What’s left? Words. Only 7 percent of our total decision whether to like someone is based on the words they say. Let’s be clear: This study isn’t a generalization about the impact of all communication. Email does not convey only 7 percent of a message, and you can’t watch a person speaking in a foreign language and understand 93 percent. But its findings are useful if we think about the study in a larger sense. Put simply, it’s not just about our words. Without nonverbal indicators, it’s easier to misunderstand the words.

Think about email. It strips away 93 percent of our ability to influence how people understand our message. How many times have you been offended by an email? Or worse, how many times have you sent an email, meant no harm whatsoever, and the message was taken totally wrong on the other end?! This overused form of communication has started to replace authentic interaction. It’s a good tool that has grown horns and teeth. When you have an important message and can pick up the phone (adding your tone of voice to clarify meaning) or can walk down the hall and speak in person (adding your confident body language to the message), do it. Use the human tools at your disposal whenever possible.

So how do these three elements come together? When we feel that a person is not telling the truth, we intuitively check out the alignment between words, voice, and body. When you want someone to trust you, check out the alignment between your own words, voice, and body because if they aren’t in sync, the observer is likely to rely on your body language.

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