As Many Stars by K.L. Noone

Author:K.L. Noone [Noone, K.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: JMS Books LLC
Published: 2024-05-04T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

Blake was not aware of much, after that. Glimpses. Indistinct scenes. Ephemeral floating ghosts, voices, hands on him. He was not sure where he was; there was a bed under him, and cool cloths, and terrible tastes upon occasion, and a deep all-encompassing ache in his bones that ebbed to a sort of muffling bronze languor, slow as molasses.

He knew Cam was there. And Ash. Both presences, one firm and authoritative, one sparrow-light and noisy, speaking to him.

He lost any sense of time, amid the ghosts.

He heard blurred conversations, once or twice. Cam’s low rumble. Ash asking a question. Blake wanted to tell him to get back in bed, he’d only just woken up himself, he shouldn’t be here. What if this was infectious, whatever it was? What if being here was too much for Ash’s lungs?

But he couldn’t talk, and focusing was difficult. He slid back into languid confused swirls of color, indistinct. It did not feel like sleep; more like dissolving.

He heard Cam swear at him, once or twice; he heard Cam’s accent raw and tangled with fear, as it hadn’t been before. “Come on—no, we’re not doing this, not again, not you—I’ll not lose you, d’you hear me, I can’t—”

You’re not losing me, Blake attempted to tell him. I’ll be fine. I always am. I just need some sleep. Tired.

Cam swore again, brief, choked-off. “He—your Ashley—he’s sleeping. He’s fine. He’s fine. I’m not. You—you woke me back up, you changed my life, and you can’t be doing this to me, not again, it’s not fair—not you, when you made me smile, one of the worst fuckin’ days of my life and you were there and you made it bright, and you know you make him smile, too—you’re not going to die because I won’t fuckin’ let you.”

Blake, startled, wanted to interrupt. Was he going to die? Was that a concern? And—he’d made Cam smile? On a bad day?

He was glad, if he’d done that.

He went away again, for a bit. When he woke Ashley was there, sitting with him. Ash was talking, or crying. “He says it’s—it’s bad. He says he’s not giving up. But I can tell—what he isn’t saying—Blake, please. I’m so sorry. Please. I love you. Please try to drink some of this.”

This, whatever it was, tasted bitter but sweet, honey failing to disguise a drug. That was kind of them.

“I love you.” Ash’s voice cracked, still weak. “I know…I know he does too. I see it, when he looks at you. When you look at him. Maybe you haven’t said it yet, but you do. But I—I love you, too. I think—I thought sometimes, maybe you—the way you’d look at me, sometimes—I wanted more. I wanted you. I want you. I thought we’d have time. I thought you’d always come home to me. Because you always did. I love you. Don’t leave me.”

The weight of the room shifted; Cam had come back. Blake felt the heat of him, through all the drowsy molten depths.

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