Anything but Plain by Suzanne Woods Fisher

Author:Suzanne Woods Fisher
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Amish Fiction;FIC053000;FIC042040;FIC027020
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2022-07-28T00:00:00+00:00

13

On Wednesday afternoon, David was in his office at the Bent N’ Dent when Edith Fisher Lapp stormed in and dropped the newspaper on his desk. “You need to do something about this.”

“What?”

She pointed a finger at the newspaper. “That.”

David picked it up and saw a cartoon of a man who looked remarkably similar to Hank Lapp, standing behind a card table. His sign read JOKES FOR SALE. 10 CENTS 5 CENTS 1 CENT.

“That newspaper reporter is behind this. He’s been poking fun at us for years. It’s high time you do something about it.”

“Edith, as I recall, in the past you’ve enjoyed those cartoons. I believe you said that they kept us humble.”

“That was when they were about Walt Yoder. That old goat needs a little humbling. But two weeks in a row, they’ve been aimed at my Hank. These are just downright mean.”

“Is that how Hank feels?” David knew, without a doubt, that Hank was loving the attention. He’d been in the Bent N’ Dent earlier today, laughing about them, showing off the cartoon to anyone who walked through the door. “Hank has a pretty thick skin.” Unlike his thin-skinned wife.

“That’s only because Hank doesn’t realize when someone’s making fun of him.”

“I don’t think these drawings are meant to be mean-spirited. They’re really just little slices of the Plain life.”

“Exactly. And should be kept private.”

“When Hank was selling his jokes at the market, it was very public. Very loud.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re defending these cartoons because they’re good advertising for your farmers’ market.”

“I’m not!” Though they were.

“Let’s just see how you feel when you’re the object of one of these vicious satires.”

Vicious satires? That was dramatic. He peered at the illustration to find a name in the corner, but there was none. “Edith, are you positive that the newspaper reporter is the one who draws these?”

“Absolutely.”

“How do you know?”

“Patsy Glick told me so. She reminded me that he’s been taking pictures of the Plain folks for years without permission.” She pointed a finger at one of the photographs taken at the farmers’ market. “Look. Right there. See Fern’s face?”

David had to hold the paper up to his nose to identify Fern. The figure was turned halfway around at her booth.

“I’ll speak to the editor. He’s a good man.” He hoped that might be enough to appease Edith. When she didn’t make a motion to leave, he added, “Is there anything else you’d like to say, Edith?”

“This farmers’ market is a bad idea. I knew it from the start. We’re meant to live in this world but not be of it.”

Patience, patience. David cleared his throat. “So you think that selling produce our local farmers have grown is being of this world?”

“You should’ve kept it to just the Plain farmers, instead of letting everybody and their dogs in.”

“Amish-only vendors couldn’t support the market. Or Amish-only customers, either.”

“I don’t mind if the customers are Englisch.”

David leaned back in his chair. “Let me get this straight. You don’t want to

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