American Demon by Daniel Stashower

Author:Daniel Stashower
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group

11

STEEL AND BONE

CAN YOU HELP POLICE CAPTURE AMERICA’S GREATEST MASS MURDERER, THE FIEND WHO KILLED TEN AND LEFT NO CLEWS?

Official Detective Stories magazine, November 15, 1937

On New Year’s Day 1937, Judge Carl Friebolin sat down, sharpened a pencil, and began thinking of ways to ridicule Eliot Ness. By day, Friebolin was one of the most respected legal minds in the city, and a longtime federal referee in bankruptcy court. By night, he pursued a second career as “Cleveland’s Aristophanes,” crafting a satiric production called the Anvil Revue, patterned on the famed Gridiron Club Dinner in Washington, DC. Once a year Friebolin mounted a slick, high-spirited program of skits and musical numbers designed to “deflate notables of the stuffed shirt variety.” Anyone could become a target, and being designated one of Friebolin’s “goats” was taken as a signal that one had risen to a level of social consequence. Each year as the curtain fell on the latest production, an exhausted Friebolin would step forward and declare that “this is positively my last show.” In fact, he kept at it for forty-eight years.

The previous year’s Anvil Revue had been staged in the early days of Harold Burton’s administration, and Friebolin expressed disappointment at the time that the mayor “hadn’t yet made any mistakes worth joking about.” He did, however, manage to take a healthy swing at Ness, parodying his gee-whiz enthusiasm and his cozy relationship with the press. Karl Heyner, an Anvil stalwart, took the role of Ness, wearing short pants and a child’s beanie, and promising to rid the town of all crime and corruption—“if you’ll let me tell the newspapers my story!” A second actor, portraying an exasperated Frank Cullitan, responded with his head in his hands: “Oh, you will, and to all the churches and clubs and ladies’ auxiliaries…” But Ness had already turned away, raising a hand to his ear at the sound of an offstage police siren. “The call of duty!” he shouted. “I fly!”

The real Ness laughed along from his seat in the front rows of the Public Music Hall, and drew praise for his willingness to “take it on the chin.”

As the formal invitations went out for the 1937 production, speculation mounted as to which of the city’s “great and good” would be present to see themselves ridiculed. Reply cards, many of them featuring handwritten notes to the effect of “go easy on me,” were pinned up on a so-called “goat board” backstage. “Some can take it,” said one cast member. “Others can’t.” Burton and Ness, eager to show that they could take it, sat front and center when the curtain went up on April 10, along with Press editor Louis B. Seltzer, Senator Robert Bulkley, and other luminaries. Once again, Ness came in for special attention, with a portrayal that featured a pair of fluttering angel wings clipped to the back of his jacket. A chorus of police captains, each bearing a letter of resignation, joined in a tribute to the safety director’s virtuosity:

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