All You Despise by Tom Piccirilli

Author:Tom Piccirilli [Tom, Piccirilli,]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Suspense & Thrillers
Publisher: Crossroad Press

9

Melissa showed up at my trailer an hour later, carrying Philly. The kid smiled and held his arms out to me. I plucked him up and tossed him in the air for a minute while he laughed. The heaviness in my heart lifted a touch.

That’s all it took, playing around with the kid. He had that kind of energy, you just had to look at him and you felt better, you started to grin. He giggled wildly and I flipped him first over my left shoulder and then my right. I pressed nose to nose to him and he gave me his tough guy glare and then cracked up again. He never said much, but that was all right. I didn’t like talking much either.

I put my back to Melissa because it was hard looking at her until I’d had time to steel myself. I’d always been at least a little in love with her. But most men were.

I had a photo of her and Danny and Philly that I’d taken out of Danny’s wallet one night months ago. One of those family photo shoots where no one seems entirely natural or comfortable. For some reason, that made me adore the photograph even more. I looked at it from time to time and imagined myself in there with them, the four of us with awkward smiles on our faces.

I saw that one of Philly’s new front teeth, which had just come in a few weeks ago, was already seriously chipped. He had a habit of walking into furniture. Maybe it had to do with this supposed learning disability. Maybe the kid just needed a little more time to catch up. Maybe he’d be a great athlete one day. He put a finger to my own busted front tooth and I put a finger to his.

I set him down and he promptly ran head-on into the refrigerator. His glasses went flying. I picked him up and dusted him off and told him he needed watch where he was going, not always be in such a rush. Put one foot in front of the other carefully. Take his time. I got his glasses and hung them back on his face.

He listened. He walked slowly to the other room, watching his feet. I told him to put on one of his DVDs. I had a couple dozen kid movies for him. In a moment, I heard the opening strains of The Deer Hunter. I figured that would be okay. It would be a while until the Russian roulette scenes.

“I don’t mean to bother you,” Melissa said.

“It’s never any bother.”

“I mean, I know you sleep during the day.”

“It’s okay,” I told her. “I’ve been up for a while.” I’d had insomnia for years and hardly ever slept more than a couple hours here and there.

She was attractive in a fashion that didn’t intimidate. Not beautiful, not even particularly sexy really, but her looks were warm and pleasing and earthy. She had a bright smile that brimmed in her eyes and ignited her entire face, and her laugh was gratifying and soothing.

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