ADHD and Marriage: The complete guide on how to live with and manage your partner’s ADHD or ADD by James Parkinson

Author:James Parkinson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ingram Publishing
Published: 2020-04-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4 – Recommendations for Couples

A number of partners struggle with unproductive parent-child type relationships in the marriage. The person with ADHD plays the role of a child while the other plays the role of the parent. It usually begins when the ADHD partner does not accomplish tasks like paying bills on time, cleaning after making a mess, or being late at picking up the kids from school after agreeing to do so. Hence, the partner is left with no other choice but to carry out all the tasks.

As these imbalances in the partnership constantly occur, the other person may feel swamped by the immensity of daily responsibilities. As the non-ADHD partner begins to resent the situation, it becomes even more difficult to recognize the value and good attributes of the spouse or partner with ADHD. Definitely, the ADHD partner can notice this as well and may begin to feel hopeless and useless.

Tips for the partner without ADHD:

• You may not be able to manage every action that your partner does, but you can control yours. Avoid making condescending statements towards your partner and reduce the endless demands or nagging. These actions are never productive.

• Support your partner whenever the person is able to improve. Always recognize the accomplishments and hard work.

• Avoid acting like you are the parent. This kind of action is not healthy to your relationship and it will only make your partner less eager to make an effort to improve.

Tips for the partner with ADHD:

• Accept your reality that you have ADHD and your behaviors are affecting your relationship in a destructive way. Recognize the fact that the problems in your relationship do not only stem from your partner being difficult to deal with.

• Discuss with a physician your options for treatment. Finding the right treatment can help you manage your symptoms better. In turn, your spouse or partner will be less distressed.

• Make sure you are taking care of your partner’s needs emotionally and physically. If your spouse knows you really care, your importance will be realized and they will be willing to overcome challenges with you.

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