The Watsons Go to Birmingham by Christopher Paul Curtis

Author:Christopher Paul Curtis
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 0385729855
Publisher: Random House
Published: 1995-01-29T19:22:11+00:00

“Well, well, well,” Dad said, leaning down into the car, “I see you three have the ultimate in taste. I see you’ve chosen the top of the line, the cream of the crop, the True-Tone AB-700 model, the Ultra-Glide!”

We had too, ’cause right on the front of the record player in big red letters it said, “TT AB-700, Ultra-Glide”!

“As I’m certain you are aware, the problem in the past with this new technology in automotive sound has been road vibrations inter-fering with an accurate dispersal of the phonic interpretations.”

“Huh?” Byron said.

Dad said, “In other words, I’m sure you know that in the good old days every time you drove over a bump with one of these things the needle would jump and scratch the record.” Me and Joey played along. “We know, we know!”

“And, as I’m sure such a fine, intelligent-looking family as this one. . . it is Mr. and Mrs.Watson and your son, isn’t it?”

“Oh no,” Joetta said, and pointed at Byron. “This isn’t our son, this is just a little juvenile delinquent boy that we feel sorry for and let follow us around some of the time. Our real son has hair!” Even this didn’t bother Byron, who was amazed by the Brown Bomber’s latest addition.

Dad kept imitating the guy who sold him the record player. “Yes, as I’m sure a nice family like this one is aware, it was only last year that the scientists at Autotronic Industries made a brilliant, beautiful, breathtaking breakthrough and developed a suitable system for con-trolling these vibrations.”

“Yeah,” I said,“I saw it last night on the news.Walter Cronkite said it was a miracle!”

Dad laughed.“Precisely, Mr.Watson.Walt has two of these babies in his car and one on his motorcycle!”

“We know, we know!”

“Yes, the vibration problem has been overcome by the exclusive Vibro-Dynamic-Lateral-Anti-Inertial Dampening system.” Dad had memorized that word ’cause right on the arm of the record player it said “V.D.L.A.I. Dampening, Patented”!

“Come on, Daddy, turn it on, stop teasing!”

“Now, now, Mrs.Watson, be patient, and tell that little-delinquent-that-follows-you-around that if he touches one more knob on that record player I am going to pull his fingers off.” Byron mumbled and sat back in the seat.

“Before I dazzle you with the symphonic sound of this unit, let me point out some of its less-appreciated features.”

“Oh, please do.”

“Awww, man, just turn the blanged thing on. If I gotta listen to all this jive I’m gonna go in the house and get some real cool sounds.” Byron opened the passenger door and ran into the house.

“Now, Mr. and Mrs.Watson, I’d like to direct your attention to the rear of your classic automobile.”

Me and Joey crawled up on the backseat and looked at the back window. On the rear shelf a hole had been cut and was covered with that same stuff that’s on a screen door.

“I can see you’re wondering what that is.Well, let me explain.What we have here is, believe it or not, a second speaker! And I can tell by that intelligent look on your face, Mrs.

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