The Six Habits: Practical Tools for Bringing Your Dreams to Life by DiBenedetto Laura

Author:DiBenedetto, Laura [DiBenedetto, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Laura DiBenedetto, Inc.
Published: 2020-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

4. Presence

Presence is the habit governing awareness of what’s right in front of us, staying true to the current moment, current needs, and current circumstances. It’s the habit of learning from the past, looking forward to the future, but fixating on neither. Instead, it focuses on this moment, now.

It’s hard to be present. Getting stuck in the past is easy and dreaming of (or dreading) the future is effortless.

We automatically remember and spend time reflecting on the bad day we had yesterday, the problems that happened to us when we were younger, the failed relationships we had, maybe a parent that abused us, how much we hate our job, etc. Just as easily, we can get lost in the memories of “the good old days” when we were younger, thinner, healthier, more successful, had the best job of our life, loved the president in office, and the kids were little, etc. The past is a blessing and a curse, and it is one hundred percent a valuable part of your life. I know how easy it is to get stuck there because I do it too.

Then there’s the future—we all tend to think about tomorrow. The upcoming surgery we’re dreading, the awkward conversation we need to have at work, a loved one’s death, the birthday party we just don’t want to go to, the painful conversation with our child about something they lost, etc. And then, of course, we think about the good things: what goals we’re working on, what’s on the agenda, who we want to be someday, the job, house, car, spouse, or vacation we truly want, and so on.

How could anyone be surprised that we all struggle to enjoy right here and right now? As a society, we’re even trained to focus on yesterday and tomorrow, so it’s not your fault for doing it. Here’s how you can know it’s not your fault:

- The news talks about what happened in the past, and what will happen in the future.

- Your job expects you to adhere to a schedule with timelines, dates, goals, etc.

- Your family wants to know what time you’ll be home.

- You have to plan if you’re going to go on a vacation.

- You have to dig deep and outline your past if you want to get a great job in your future.

The challenge around presence is time .

When I was a little girl, there were two specific moments where I was fully present, and they continue to linger in my mind after all these years. Because nothing in particular was noteworthy or special, I was able to witness the magic of the ordinary and find beauty in something so plain. It was deep immersion in the moment that made the difference.

In the first memory, I was sitting quietly in the grass in my front yard during summer break. I was minding my own business and picking through the grass leisurely. I poked around looking for tiny little flowers, bugs, interesting rocks, extra-long blades of grass, all while enjoying how the wind felt on my skin.

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