The Protectors by B. Love

Author:B. Love [Love, B.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Prolific Pen Pusher
Published: 2024-05-15T00:00:00+00:00

7

Neo

Three Months Later

I was sure all mothers said this, but I had the most beautiful, perfect baby. Merci was my pride and joy. She was my whole heart. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone in such a small amount of time the way I loved her. I mean… true, her daddy and I fell for each other fast and deeply, but still. What I felt for my baby was to no end.

As I got her all comfy and cozy in her onesie, I looked down at her with a smile. The sight of her chubby cheeks and gummy smile was like an instant boost of oxytocin. I did the last button then picked her up and gave my baby kisses. Merci was the best part of me in human form—I was convinced. As happy as I was to be her mom, I still had some struggles.

I didn’t feel like myself. My energy and libido were low. I was happy to be a mom and loved my baby, but I also struggled with days filled with sadness. Merc and our families and friends were so helpful, and Odyssey too, but I still felt overwhelmed. Regardless of how much they did, Merci was my baby. She was most bonded with me. I wanted to make sure she felt as safe and secure as she possibly could because she was still so new to the world. She consumed my days and my life, and I was… simply… tired and overwhelmed.

Mama said I had the baby blues. Whatever it was, I wanted it to be over. I missed my man and wanted to experience him intimately. Hell, I missed myself. Merc and I hadn’t been on a date or had sex since I gave birth. He was being so patient with me, which only made me feel worse. I prayed that I would be able to just… snap out of this… but that hadn’t been the case.

There were times where I’d be good and then all of a sudden needed to be alone. I was often moody and not interested in any of the things that used to interest me, and my sleeping was horrible. I didn’t know what the hell to do. Mama and Mrs. Nivea, Merc’s mom, told me to give myself grace, but I felt like I was failing. Mrs. Nivea assured me that it could take up to two years for me to start feeling like myself again.

How would I endure two years of this?

I took Merci into the kitchen so I could grab a snack. I didn’t have an appetite but knew I needed to eat. Merc hired a newborn care specialist, personal chef, and housekeeper for us. I wasn’t going to my store or doing anything other than resting and taking care of Merci, which may have been a part of the issue too. He was trying to make sure I was comfortable, which I appreciated, but I felt like I’d lost myself.

After grabbing my

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