The Good Morning Mind by Theresa Puskar

Author:Theresa Puskar
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: G&D Media
Published: 2020-06-14T16:00:00+00:00

Habit 6

SHIFT from Selfishness to Self-fullness

Labeling someone as selfish is shaming. Encouraging conscious selfishness (self-fullness) fosters self-care and fosters peace and well-being among staff.

When staff truly care for themselves, they will be healthier and happier. Consequently, care for your business and your clients will naturally and organically follow.

We’ve Got It Wrong

Most of us have been raised on the moral principle that we should put others before ourselves. Since early childhood, this has often been drilled into us by culture, religion, and family.

I encourage you to consider that perhaps we have it all wrong. We are backwards in our selflessness, and that is why it does not work. We have been exposed to powerful messages that may be in error. One is the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Many have interpreted this commandment to mean that we need to stop being selfish; we need to become more altruistic and love others first.

I, however, contend that we have the commandment backwards. In order to give to others, we have to first take care of ourselves. If we do not, we are giving from a place of “should” rather than from a natural, organic progression in which our own needs are taken care of, so the desire to support others comes from an authentic desire to serve. Then and only then can we care for others with a full heart and an honest disposition.

We perpetuate self-shaming in many aspects of our lives. Whether in business or family interactions, people often give prematurely, sometimes because of peer pressures. They focus on caring for others before they have taken care of their own needs. When this is the case, giving is often rooted in resentment, bitterness, depletion, shame, and self-neglect.

If, however, we were each to first take care of our own needs, we would feel energized, satiated, and ready to give. We would do so from a naturally altruistic state. We would be filled, and we would be ready to fill others.

Conscious Selfishness in Management

Let’s take this premise to the world of business. If, as a business owner or manager, you are constantly taking care of everyone but yourself, in a very short time you will find yourself exhausted. This in turn will affect your temperament, the quality of your work, and your energetic imprint on the business. If, however, you take care of your needs first and foremost, you are energized. You feel good. You feel complete, so you have the stamina and the emotional wherewithal to support your staff and your business in a much more potent way.

Supporting Staff to Grow beyond You

Have you heard of those rare businesses where management actually coach their staff to move beyond their current position to a better position in another company? While this is rare, it does occur. At first glance, one would think that there would be no benefits in such an altruistic stance; it would only hinder the business. But consider the reputation you would gain among potential staff members and within the industry.

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