Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Mason Paul & Kreger Randi

Author:Mason, Paul & Kreger, Randi [Mason, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781608820467
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2010-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

No one likes to be told what their intentions are—least of all someone with BPD. Plus, these kinds of statements invite criticism. What if you’re wrong about why Shelby is taking long lunches? Even if you’re right, what are the chances that Shelby will agree with your statements about his selfishness and overinflated ego? Remember that feeling invalidated is a key trigger for people with BPD. “I” statements will help avoid this trigger.

Following are sample “I” statements you could use with Shelby. Use a confident voice and physical manner. Do not stammer or act apologetic for having feelings and opinions.

“I feel like I am answering the phone more often, and this is causing problems for me because I can’t get all my work done. Can we sit down and talk about this?”

“I am having a hard time getting all my work done because I’m answering the phone so often. My understanding is that this is a task we are supposed to split evenly. I’d like to set up a time to talk to you about this.”

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