Saint in Vain by Matthew K. Perkins

Author:Matthew K. Perkins [Perkins, Matthew K.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781532608841
Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers
Published: 2018-05-25T07:00:00+00:00

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I continued making my way, by foot, north on 55. I thought that walking at night was too suspicious and would bring unwanted attention my way, and so I kept my travels to the daytime where it was common for me to see a handful of individuals who looked a lot like me. I was continually tempted by the smells that came out of the area’s many barbeque shacks. However, I stayed disciplined and bypassed them all, because all it took was one misgiving business owner and I’d be rounded up by the authorities in no time. I stuck to a steady diet of bread and peanut butter because it was filling, it stored easy in my pack, and it was readily available in every convenient store along the highway.

I spent my nights wherever I could find a hiding place—roadside foliage, bridge underpasses, and in the high weeds around neglected commercial property. Near the end of the fifth day, as I began scouting out a spot for the night, I was startled by the quick horn of a semi truck and the driver’s offer for a ride. He must have been in his early thirties and we didn’t say much other than some quick small talk. I appreciated that he was willing to just let me be, because I was content to stare out the dirty passenger window and let my feet rest. Occasionally, the Mississippi river would snake into view and, as I admired the moonlight on its shaking surface, I realized that this was the first time I had taken the river into thought even though it had shadowed my every step since Jackson. One of the world’s great rivers sliding unnoticed through my peripheral. But not anymore.

Anytime I saw or heard about the Mississippi river I inevitably was drawn back to my junior year in high school, where we were required to read Huckleberry Finn. I don’t remember much about that book other than the entire class period my teacher spent ranting on how great the part is when Huck decides that he would rather go to hell than betray his friend Jim back into slavery. I guess I thought it was a pretty cool move by Huck, but I don’t think I believed in Hell at the time and I never had a great friend like Jim was to Huck, so maybe a lot of the significance was lost on me. But, looking out from the cab of that truck onto the glass surface of the Mississippi, I revisited in my mind the time Huck decided he might just go to hell. It didn’t matter if I believed in hell or not—Huck believed in Hell, and he was the one doing the deciding. He weighed in one hand all that he had been raised to think and believe about Jim’s place in the world, and he tried to pray for forgiveness from the Almighty for helping with Jim’s escape because he was raised to believe he was doing the wrong thing.

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