Rent a Boyfriend by Gloria Chao

Author:Gloria Chao [Chao, Gloria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books For Young Readers
Published: 2020-11-10T00:00:00+00:00

Chloe

It’s always my parents.

Every time, without fail, they came first.

Drew’s serious eyes met mine, boring into them to make sure I heard what was coming next. “Chloe, I’m not saying this in reference to you getting to know me, but in general. It’s okay for you to try to be happy. You fighting for a life without Hongbo? Admirable and necessary. In fact, it’s making me rethink some of my own decisions. Maybe today can be a start, not an exception.”

“It’s not that simple. How my parents feel affects me, too.” Though it’s decreasing the more they show me they don’t care about my happiness.

“I understand,” he said.

The only person who had ever cared about how I felt was right in front of me, and I was pushing him away.

Why was I fighting this so damn hard? He was asking me to get to know him. It should have been a no-brainer.

But… if we moved forward, we would be on borrowed time, with the prospect of my parents finding out—either from us or, horrors, on their own—looming over us. Could we even be happy under those circumstances?

Then I thought about the counterfactual scenario where I let Drew go without trying. Would I be okay with that? With not knowing him or where this could possibly go?

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

That would be letting my parents win. Again.

Drew was right; I’d been pushing him away for my parents’ sake, not mine. Fear of their disapproval, fear of how to untangle the fact that they already knew him as Andrew.

I wanted to stop making decisions out of fear.

“One thing I gotta know,” I said, and he tensed slightly. “Were the imaginary sheep real?”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Yes. Well, no. They were imaginary. But yeah, I do the pajama thing when I can’t sleep.”

We snort-laughed together. I could feel molecules shifting, and when we shared a smile, it now felt as if there were a red thread attached to the both of us, lifting the corners of our lips in tandem, for the same reasons.

“Okay,” I said with confidence. “Thanks for being patient. If you’re still willing, can you tell me about your parents? About following in your grandfather’s footsteps?”

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